Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Offerings of the Heart ~ Lessons from Stink Bugs

I've been thinking about beetles lately, specifically stink bugs. Then tonight as I was sitting here a shadow kept circling and circling on the wall. It was a stink bug flying around and around the light fixture in the center of the room. A gentle reminder that I had planned to write about them but hadn't done it yet.

I was thinking about them because one attacked a friend of mine. I didn't know they could hurt you but this one did - stung him or sprayed him or something right on the cheek. It apparently was quite painful.

I've had a bunch of them over the past few years that come inside in the winter. I'm inclined to take note of the animals, birds and bugs that come into my life and see if they have something to teach. It didn't occur to me right away to sit with the beetle to see what it might have to teach. Not until after my friend's incident. Then I began to ponder it. What is distinctive about the stink bug? Well, it's stink of course. It is a defense mechanism, it will spray the odor to keep predators away.

Hmmm....what is there in that to learn? So I asked myself, do I ever use my own stink to protect myself? Ha! It was actually a timely question for me. It seems lately that a lot of old records I didn't think I played anymore were spinning in my mind again and I was hearing the same old stories. Therefore, my answer was simple. Absolutely. I sometimes slip back into my old sh*t and tell myself that it is somehow protecting me. I did it just the other day. I heard words come out of my mouth and saw the pattern repeat itself from about 20 years ago! I said the exact same thing I had before, coming from the same exact fear. Except this time the fear was completely unfounded. I couldn't believe it was still there lurking.

Thank God for the stink bug though, because I recognized it even as I was saying it and a little while later after sitting with the fear a bit, I took it back! I know that sounds like a little kid thing to do but I believe our words have creative power. I can't take back the energy I released but I can create differently in the next moment by looking the fear squarely in the eye and telling it I'm no longer afraid and with new words re-creating.

Stink bug my friend, thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to be aware of my own stinky patterns and for the reminder it brought that I can also make new ones. You can go back outside now.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Offerings of the Heart - States of Being

I enjoyed the beauty of the ice hanging from the tips of the trees on my walk this morning. As I wandered and admired the frozen motion from tree to tree I was struck by two thoughts that made me look at the water cycle differently and see it as an amazing teacher.

The first thought was how completely the water had transformed its state of being. The air around it changed temperature and the water transformed with the change. Its essence didn’t change, still H2O, just its form of being.

I started looking at Spirit in terms of the water cycle. The pure essence and energy of Spirit is the gas phase. As Spirit takes form as an individual soul or individual expression of Spirit, it takes on its fluid state and moves with ease and grace. Then as Spirit takes shape and expresses in the human form, or plant or animal or star or rock, etc. though I am focusing on the human form here, it becomes solid. Never did it change its essential essence of Spirit; it simply changed its state of being. And when the solid form ceases to be solid anymore, it will return either directly to its Source or remain in the soul form a bit longer (or maybe a lot longer). It seemed a fascinating way to look at being.

I was grateful to the tiny drops of water that had transformed so easily into their solid form for the opportunity to see differently.

The other thought their beauty brought to me was in relation to how easily they transform and yet retain the essence of what they are. In our cycle when we solidify we seem to live believing we are something other than our true essence. I started to wonder about what I would want to be seen if my life did suddenly freeze. In the strands of ice, I saw light and beauty and the water that they are, paused in motion. If my life froze and others could walk past and see it would they see the beauty of my true essence, of the Spirit that I am? It certainly gives me food for thought. My desire would be for me to live the essence of unconditional love that I am and for that to be what would be visible if my state of being suddenly changed.

Much wisdom is held in one drop of water.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Offerings of the Heart ~ Faith, Hope and Jane

Years ago my Mom’s best friend, Jane, discovered she had cancer. She lived across the street from us when I was growing up, that second Mom kind of thing. We ran all over the neighborhood playing games and getting in trouble and driving both of them crazy!

I was older when she found out she had cancer. It was pretty insidious and eventually took her life. I remember going to see her and being surprised by how thin and small she looked. She had a large personality and so always seemed larger than life to me. Yet there she was in her bed seemingly so small.

I remember bringing her a small stone, hematite to be exact. I love hematite and I had read about its healing properties. When I saw her that last time I knew everyone thought it would be the last time. Everyone but me that is. I held firmly to the belief that she could be healed. I think at that point I was the only one still holding out hope for that, but that was part of why I felt I had to. I thought if no one had hope, if no one believed a miracle was possible then it couldn’t be. The miracle didn’t happen in this case. I know my Mom still misses her.

Over the past few years or so I’ve pondered the idea of hope and faith. I don’t really like those words now because of the focus they seem to put outside of one's self. Hoping for something in the future or having faith in something that exists outside of me. I’ve come to feel that hope and faith should be ideas that lead you to focus within, to the Source within. I’m not saying that Spirit is not outside of me, I find Spirit in all things. However, my connection to Spirit is within my heart. It is there that I will find hope or faith should I need them. Though to tell you the truth I find that when I am truly living from Spirit I don’t have a need for faith or hope because I am already connected to all that I need.

I wish I knew all that the last day I sat beside Jane, not because it would have saved her life but because I bet I would have seen that same knowing there in her eyes. Maybe knowing she had all she needed within her would have made saying goodbye a little easier.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Offerings of the Heart ~ Look Up

I’ve been pondering a gift my daughter gave me for Christmas. I mentioned it in an earlier blog but it has stayed with me since I opened it on Christmas morning. If you missed the other post about it, it was a box with a bow. When I opened it the box seemed to be empty, but she had written in the bottom of the box, Look up. So I looked at the lid of the box and there she had written, Love and drawn a heart.

It seemed to be empty, yet I have never received anything more full. It gave me a whole new perspective on what empty is. It also left me wondering at her wisdom. Look up and find Love.

For me looking up, raising my eyes is not literal. I don’t imagine a God on a cloud up in Heaven. I see a God all around me in everything. For me the wisdom she offered is clear and simple, look up means, to raise my eyes, to raise my consciousness, to raise my awareness, to raise my life to love. Look up and find Love.

Thank you again my little light for sharing your wisdom!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Offerings of the Heart, January 4, 2012 ~ I Am Born

The Symphony
by Lynda Allen

There is a symphony born of the wings of birds.
An unseen conductor guides them
first left, then right,
low notes followed by high
with a quick dip, then sharp rise
a gentle, fluid arc of movement and sound.
A crescendo of feathers moving air
as they soar out of sight,
the last note carrying me with them.

Carry me with them they did. Yesterday was my birthday. I share it with my Mother. What a gift she gave me sharing her life and her day of birth with me. In celebration of my birthday and the baby New Year I felt called to visit with my bird friends so I went to see the swans and eagles. I laughed the whole way there as there was an escort of eagles all along the way with at least six that I saw on the drive there.

When I arrived there was an eagle awaiting me as I parked. I just sat in my car and watched him for a while. Eventually he looked up and so did I, where I found another eagle taking flight from the tree above him. They flew off across the water and my heart soared with them.

The rest of my visit was just as glorious. I had gone there because I knew I needed to do a dedication of sorts for my birthday, a dedication of my heart. I was overjoyed that the birds were willing to join in the process with me. As I stood on the bench of a picnic table and spoke my commitment to the sky, the water, the trees and the birds an eagle approached over the water. He banked off to my right and as I finished my statements he floated there, dipping and soaring, turning and circling at the level of the treetops where I got a lovely view of his joyful playing with the wind.

Tears filled my eyes as my joy equaled his. My dedication had been joyfully given and joyfully received. It was a great honor.

Towards the end of my process the words, I am born, kept moving through my mind, until at last as I looked out over the water I stopped and realized the significance of the words. I Am born. Indeed and in deed, I was accepting the birth of I Am through my heart. I Am born of my heart. I Am borne within my heart.

My heart dedicated, the eagles watching over, I am born! I am joy, I am honored, I am humbled.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

January 3, 2012 ~ A Favorable Time

As far as I know, the world is not ending this year, it is beginning! In the past I had the opportunity on two occasions to hear Mayan elders speak of the prophecies for 2012. Neither of them said the world will come to a close this year. What they said was that the visionaries of their ancestry were unable to see beyond December 21, 2012. It was as if there was a veil there that they could not see beyond. Consequently, there was no way to predict what might happen beyond that date.

I see that as an amazing opportunity! Perhaps humanity has an opportunity for a clean slate of sorts this year. Perhaps we have the chance to choose our destiny on a mass scale. Perhaps when you get right down to it, it is simply an opportunity to choose the better part of ourselves, to choose to live the better part of ourselves. Or to borrow a term from a meditation a friend led this weekend, to shift from humankind to Godkind.

I don’t know your beliefs when it comes to God or Spirit or whatever name you use for God, but from my perspective we are all vessels for a divine spark of light. Much of our lives are lived with that light shrouded. I think we begin as children with that light shining forth bright and pure but as we grow we are taught to cover that light, dim it or even deny it. Hopefully, our souls eventually call out to us loudly enough that we begin searching at some point in our lives for the light that was always there within and without.

Life then is a process of knowing, forgetting, remembering and returning again to knowing. Returning to knowing. For me that is what 2012 is all about. The Mayan prophecies, whatever your feelings about them, simply serve as an opportunity for remembering. After all, if you thought the world really would end in December or even tomorrow, where would you live from? Your heart or your head? Your love or your fear? Your Divine light or your human darkness?

One of the origins of the word opportunity is from Latin, opportunitatem, meaning favorable time. 2012, a favorable time to begin anew, to return to knowing, to live our original Divine selves. A welcome opportunity that I will gladly accept now - no need to wait until December!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Offerings of the Heart ~ January 2, 2012

Wow, I’m way behind in wrapping up the blog for 2011, in bringing my blogging about the Pledge of Peace and love to a close. I think there’s a good reason for that though, besides the fact that the last two weeks were ridiculously busy and fun. I think I haven’t sat down to write the “last” blog on the Pledge of Peace and Love because it is not over, it is simply transforming.

Writing about peace and love on such a regular basis had a powerful impact upon my life. It guided me to be more focused in each moment on where I was making choices from. I’m so glad that I made the pledge to myself to write and practice on a daily basis.

Each new year I refrain from making resolutions, but instead set intentions. My friend Christine and I host an annual event called the Intentional Creation Party. It is a time of gathering together in the silence for listening deeply to the voice of Spirit and allowing that guidance to lead us to intentions for our lives for the year. It is a deep joy to create with Christine and to create and hold the sacred space for others to sit within for connection with Spirit.

Between the Pledge of Peace and Love and the Intentional Creation Party it is clear what is mine to do this year. As I sat by the side of Mother River yesterday and made the offering of my heart in service, I knew that the blog would transform along with the offering. The eagle flew by to affirm my commitment.

What is mine to do this year then, is to live from a deeper place within myself. To sit at the center of what I call the Unbreakable Heart, the Heart of God within myself and live from there. It really is a natural outgrowth or deepening of the Pledge of Peace and Love. I will be writing about and sharing my adventures here in living more deeply from my heart.

I invite you to join me in living more deeply from your heart this year and to share the wonders of your journey with me.

I wish you a joy filled, peaceful, heart centered 2012!