Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Happy Leap Day!

It’s Leap Day. It’s actually a day that means a lot to me. I learned a lot about leaping over the past 10 years. I went through a period in my life when I made some huge, scary leaps. At first I was hesitant, or to be more accurate, terrified, so terrified that it created anxiety attacks. What a learning experience that was! It was amazing though because the learning turned out to be about trusting myself, my heart compass, my inner knowing. I had to learn to trust it even when it didn’t make sense to anyone else, and harder still even when it didn’t make sense to me. I learned how subversive doubt can be to happiness. I stood at that corner of trust and doubt many times – even wrote about it. It was a cliff really more than a corner. I would stand on the edge of it trembling and looking down, seeing where I would fall if I dared leap.

Looking back now from this Leap Day, I’m glad to say that every time I chose trust. Ok, maybe not the first time every time but eventually when that inner knowing kept saying the same thing I learned to trust its knowing. I trusted it because I knew it came from a deeper place, a place of truth. That was a place that my mind and its doubt were not familiar with. Luckily me, myself and I or me, my heart and mind, all learned together.

Making that choice of trust over doubt changed my life dramatically, every aspect of my life. It didn’t mean that everything was bliss every moment, but it did mean that I could remember the knowing of bliss every moment. I knew that if I was trusting my heart compass I would find my way because it always points to Spirit. I know that in every cell of my body now. It’s an amazing feeling. My mind still has its doubts and I listen to them once in a while, but mostly my mind and my heart live and create in harmony.

Those terrified leaps that I began with got easier and were made with less hesitation, until I no longer doubted that my wings would work or that the wind would rise up to meet me. I never once plummeted to the earth. I landed a few times less than gracefully or took a couple nose dives that I pulled out of at the last minute, but I never crashed, I never forgot the truth of my heart.

Now I run to the edge of that cliff and truly leap off, wings spread wide, eyes looking forward toward the light, a smile on my face and in my heart, knowing the flight will lead to joy and learning. These days I wouldn’t dare miss the leap! I’m deeply grateful to my heart for that.

No comments: