Today was not a day filled with Peace. There was no particular reason for it to be less than peaceful, at least not one that I can put into words. It just seemed that even the air around me was not peaceful. It could be all the chaotic energy of people traveling and stuck in traffic or the chaotic energy of the end of the year, but either way it left me feeling decidedly less than peaceful. It even got the point where I was thinking to myself, I’m tired of being peaceful all the time! Now that’s me pretty darn far out of my center of peace. And I couldn’t easily find my way back to it despite all my practicing. It was as if I simply couldn’t remember any of my practices of peace. That is not a pleasant feeling for me. At some point though I had to just be ok with where I was and try not to interact with people from that place but allow myself to feel it. We all feel that way sometimes and there isn’t much point in denying it. The key is what you do with it.
Well today what I did with it was feel frustrated, scream at the sky, rant at my computer and just plain feel unlike myself. As uncomfortable as that was, sometimes that’s the best I can do. So I allowed myself to feel as unpeaceful as I was feeling and really notice the discomfort of that. I didn’t like it, but it did show to me how much happier I feel when I am living from a place of peace. When I am living from and choosing from peace I don’t often scream at the sky! I guess contrast is a valuable teacher even if it is uncomfortable.
Now I just have to figure out how to not allow the chaos of the holidays or the world around me be such a distraction from my path of peace. From now on, at least I will have that contrast to refer back to as incentive.
I also had the opportunity to look at another aspect of it when my beloved gently reminded me of how intensely I have been looking at and thinking about peace for over two months now through this Pledge of Peace and Love. As he said it I also realized that I hadn’t blogged in a few days. Was there a connection? I know that this Pledge truly does keep the focus on Peace and Love on the forefront for me. How do I keep it there if I’m not blogging for a few days as I did over the holidays, or worse yet when this Pledge ends? After all it was only supposed to be through the end of year. I’ll be pondering that this week, hopefully from a place of peace.
For now I will be grateful for the contrast that showed me how truly beautiful that center of peace is. I’m grateful as well for this Pledge that has given me the opportunity to place Peace and Love so front and center in my life that to be without them even for an afternoon felt so terribly uncomfortable.