Practicing peace on days like today is a challenge. Nothing particularly bad happened, just a day with lots of little frustrations adding up to a big ball of frustration! That’s when I have to work the hardest to remember my peace. I have to consciously think about it each moment and remind myself to return to it, remind myself that I have a choice. I don’t always listen to the reminders right away though, but hopefully I get there eventually.
I’m not quite there yet even as I write this. However, just the act of writing it is a reminder and I can feel the peace returning. Mostly I can feel it returning because I’m thinking of that little baby earth and what it might be feeling if the ripples of my frustration reach it. Here’s the difficult part I always return to, surely if my ripples of peace contribute to nourishing the baby earth then conversely my ripples of frustration do not nourish it. It’s kind of like feeding the baby junk food. It can only grow in an unhealthy way from a diet of junk, just as I can only grow in an unhealthy way from a diet of junk.
I guess I will have to take a moment and let go of some of the old stories that are playing in my head and release the old fears that come with them. Sometimes I guess you really do just have to walk right into the pantry with the trash can and just start throwing things out. It’s the only way to make room for the new, healthy items you really want. If I let them linger there in the dark on the back of the shelf they will only be a source of temptation to relive that old pattern. I will have to be more thorough this time in looking in the dark corners and cleaning things out.