Lessons of the Emptiness and the Fullness

Like many people I’ve been watching the river this week, but I watch her often. For me she is Mother River. I can’t begin to accurately describe the serenity I find on her banks or the myriad lessons I’ve learned by simply being still at her side.

This week the lesson I learned was about emptiness and fullness. I didn’t realize that was why I had gone to see her yesterday though. I simply went because I had been feeling called to and someone at the bus stop that morning had reminded me of her. So off I went to see how high the water was and to enjoy the peace despite the little bit of chill in the air and the gray skies.

For about a week I have been going through a process of emptying out, emotionally and spiritually. It’s a process that I am working with in general this year, being empty and refilling. The empty part has been challenging. It is not easy to be still with emptiness because it feels like loss at first. Yet, I’m discovering that is not what it is at all.

The first time I went through the process last month I spent a week experiencing intense feelings of separation, from people, from my Source. It was a real challenge. I had been given a gift before that week began though, a glorious moment of oneness spent with a Great Blue Heron that served as a reminder to me that the feelings of separation I was feeling were just that, feelings, not the truth. It is a delicate difference and yet made all the difference that week as I returned to remembering my truth that I can never truly be separate from my Source. In the end, what I found in the stillness of the emptiness was an incredible sense of joy.

This month the initial feelings were similar though slightly different. It was more a feeling of being alone. I know that sounds the same as separate, but it didn’t feel that way. The gift I received to help me through it this time was an opportunity last week to share a story with my daughters from when I was 18 years old. It was a soft, quiet moment that changed my life. At the time I was feeling more alone than I ever had before (including all the drama of that feeling that goes along with being 18!). I had some pretty good reasons at the time because I had moved away from all I knew, all I had grown up with, the summer before I headed off to college, lots of major changes. I was feeling a great deal of despair one night and I looked out the window of my room and through the branches of the trees there was a star. I had seen it there before out my window but in that moment I knew it was there for me. Because the light of that one star brought me a knowing that as lonely as I might be feeling, I was not alone, I was never alone. That moment changed my life and I knew from that moment forward that I would never be alone. Having just told my daughters about that night, served as a reminder to me this week when I was in the midst of feelings of being alone and empty.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am willingly going through this process of being empty and full in a spiritual sense. It is a great learning for me this year and I am grateful for the opportunity and the gifts I am receiving to help me through it.

As I went to Mother River yesterday to sit in the stillness of the emptiness, she showed me something. The water between her banks was still quite high from the rains of previous days and I knew more rain was coming that would raise her levels even higher. What she helped me realize as I sat there watching her, was that she felt the same to me despite the rushing waters. The essence of her, her spirit, felt the same even though she was very full. I then thought about the times I have sat beside her when water was scarcer and realized she felt the same then too. The difference had been in her physical expression only; her essence remained the same whether she was empty or full. Honestly, I was stunned by the realization. It was so simple and yet for me so profound and until that moment I had not seen it. I am in constant awe of the lessons she willingly teaches if I simply listen and observe.

This morning I remembered something else about my times with Mother River when she was empty. Last summer we were able to wander to places we could not normally reach when she is full. In those places we found great treasures that we would not have found if she had not been empty. So this week I am deeply grateful to Mother River and for the treasures found in the emptiness as well as the fullness.

Original Self

In honor of the season I am posting a writing I did a couple years ago about the Original Self. I didn't get it up here last week because as it turned out I was really working at understanding this writing in my own life last week, reconnecting with my original self.

I was raised Catholic. These days I find many teachers in many different traditions. I have to say that one thing that never made sense to me in the Christian tradition was the idea of original sin. So one day I was sitting at the river and this writing came to me about the Original Self. It made much more sense to me!

Jesus did not die for original sin, Jesus died for original self. He did not die to cleanse us of some imagined sin that we are born into, but died for the original self that we are born into and quickly forget. He died for a remembering. He died to show us what the original self looks like. It is risen, and glorious and eternal. It is faith and light and truth. We are not born into darkness but into light. Not into sin but into self. Our divine God self. That was Jesus’ greatest lesson. He taught of our original God self, our inherent connection to the divine. We are made of the same thing that God is made of, we are divine, we are divinity, just as Jesus was. He hung there on the cross in demonstration of self not in cleansing of sin. Hate and fear could have no power over him in his original form; they could not touch his divine heart. He revealed to us the divine heart. One that is of light and love, one that guides to truth and is eternal. There is no other lesson. The divine lies within each heart. That divinity is who you are, your true original self. That is who you were born to be. That is who can emerge from the human self if you allow it. Then the Divine Heart brings the human heart with it on the journey. They work in unison for joy. Joy is the celebration of the Divine and the Divine within. Let the Divine Heart lead you as it led Jesus, with joy always in his eye and the eternal Divine always in his heart. Live your original self.

The Rules of Creation

I have felt prompted over the past couple weeks to read back through many of my writings. What a journey that has been!! So much growth and learning. I'm glad I wrote it all down!! One of the things I came across today is The Rules of Creation. They are now on my website www.conversationswithmysoul.com as well as here. Happy Creating!

The Rules of Creation

1. You are a Creator. This is the most important rule; all the others are insignificant if you don’t know this rule. You create your life. You create your world. You came here as a creator and you have been creating your life since the day you were born.

2. You are Love. At the center of your being, of your soul, exists only the energy of Love. There is no fear, no doubt, no hatred, no self loathing, no separation, no prejudice, and no judgment at the center of your being. Those are all layers that you have created in your lifetime and put on over your soul. When Love is forced to travel through these layers it becomes distorted. Your soul is always struggling to throw off those layers and express its true self; Love. Let it.

3. God is you and you are God. Don’t scoff, that is simply one of the layers from rule #2 speaking. Listen to the core of Love for that is where you and God are One. God resides within you and with you co-creates your life. God does not judge your creations, you have free will. God simply helps you create what you focus your energy upon. Do not feel guilty or discouraged by what you have created so far. If you do not like the life that you have created then recreate it. If you do like what you have created then share that creation and the process of that creation with others.

4. Now is the beginning. Each moment is a new opportunity for “In the beginning there was…” You create something new each moment. Do not dwell on what you created before or what was created millennia ago. Write your own holy book, your own story. You start with a fresh, blank page each moment. This is the beginning, create.

5. The goal is Joy. The goal of life is to live in Joy. Everything you create in each moment should bring you Joy, should lead to Joy, should share Joy with others. You are here to create Joy. Your heart calls out to you each day to live in Joy. Are you listening? Pay attention. Your heart knows the way to Joy. Follow it. Your soul’s purpose on this Earth is to create and live in Joy. You each have different gifts for achieving this goal but the goal is the same for each soul; Joy.

6. Your heart is your compass; your mind is a tool. Your heart knows all these rules. Your head doesn’t believe them. Even now your head is questioning what you are reading. You need only remember that your mind is a tool, a gift for your to use, it need not control your actions. It should not control your actions. The mind is directly linked to the ego, to the personality of this human existence. The heart is directly linked to the soul. That is why intuition comes from the heart and doubt comes from the mind. Let your heart guide you home and you will live in Joy.

7. Trust the unseen force that guides the compass. To be able to follow the guidance of your heart compass you must trust. You must trust the force that guides the compass’ point. You do not doubt north when your compass shows it to you, do not doubt Truth when your heart shows it to you. The unseen force that guides the Universe and each heart in it is God, Great Spirit, Allah, it has many names but is One and it leads only to Truth. Truth can be distorted by human minds and words and wills which is why you were given a compass to guide you. You need only trust it and the force that guides it. To truly create Joy you must be able to trust the guidance you are given each moment.

8. Imagination is the fuel of creation. To create a thing or a feeling or a world you must first be able to imagine it. This is where your heart and your mind finally unite and work as one. When they do, true miracles are possible. Imaginings born of the heart and expanded and seen in the mind are the true work of creation. Uniting all the forces of creation through Love and Joy and trust and focusing them with the heart and amplifying them with the mind is your work. Imagine with the Joy of a child all the glorious things the Universe can hold and be. Imagine with all the Love that is at the core of your being. Imagine with all the power of creation behind you and create a world of beauty and Peace and Joy and Freedom.

Each moment is a new beginning. It is yours to imagine. What will you create?