The Infection of Hatred

Here's how I'm looking at the state of affairs in the United States at the moment.

We have an infection. We collectively ignored it for too long. So it has gotten deeper under the skin than we had imagined, and it has formed an abscess. The bacteria that created the infection is hatred, and it entered our system through a wound created by fear. We've been told for so long to fear the other - the other color, the other religion, the other political party, the other gender, the other class, the other side of the tracks - that the words eventually broke through the skin of our collective consciousness.

As with any infection, when left untreated the patient can develop sepsis. According the Mayo Clinic, "the goal is to treat sepsis during its early stage, before it becomes more dangerous." Here are some of the symptoms of the early stages:

Heart rate higher than 90 beats a minute

Respiratory rate higher than 20 breaths a minute

Has anyone else been feeling like collectively things have been ramping up, that our hearts have been beating faster, or that we've had to remind ourselves to take slow, deep breaths? I think we have moved past the early stages of our infection.

Here are some signs that it has progressed to severe sepsis: Abrupt change in mental status, difficulty breathing, abnormal heart pumping function, abdominal pain. Sadly, I believe the patient can safely be said to have moved into a state of severe sepsis.

Again according the Mayo Clinic, "Most people recover from mild sepsis, but the mortality rate for septic shock is nearly 50 percent. Also, an episode of severe sepsis may place you at higher risk of future infections."

Here's the really wild thought that occurred to me. What if we wouldn't collectively have noticed the infection below the surface in time without the fever of hatred, the racing hearts of ugly words? What if we were so blind to the infection that this was the only way to draw our attention to the illness before it killed us?

So what do you do when there's an infection under the surface? One of the possible courses of action is to put a poultice on the skin to draw the infection out. What can we use to draw out the infectious bacteria of hatred? Well, a poultice works by using “substances that naturally exhibit drawing power.” What are people drawn to that is more powerful than hatred? The answer is simple but true; love. Say what you will, there is nothing more powerful than love, nothing that can more easily draw the attention away from fear. In the wise words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”

The choice then that lies before us as a nation is clear, and it’s not about electing a president. It’s not up to the candidates, the pundits, or the media. It is up to each and every one of us in every interaction we have, every day. It’s a choice we can’t wait until November to make. We are already burning up with fever. We must choose now, will we choose to heal ourselves through love, or succumb to our infectious hatred?

Raised Voices

So here’s the thing, I’ve been listening to The Book Thief. It’s an excellent, powerful, heartbreaking story set in Nazi Germany. It’s interesting because the narrator is Death. I’ve never thought about how busy Death is during war, especially a war where people are dying not just on the front lines, but by the millions in concentration camps. Camps that were created because of leaders living out the hatred in their hearts, because of leaders living their false beliefs of superiority, because of leaders grouping whole religions or races together and labeling them good and bad, because of leaders without compassion, but also, and most frighteningly, because of people of compassion staying silent out of fear.

This is not the time to be silent in our country. There are people vying to be the leader of our beloved nation who have fear and hatred and bigotry in their hearts and it’s time we call it what it is. I can’t stand quietly by and wait until all that’s left for me to do is to try to save one or two lives from the suffering of unimaginable persecution. We must call a bully a bully now, we must point out racism and bigotry now, we must stand together now for what is good and just in our country, of which there is much. Most of all we must first root out of ourselves any bigotry or racism, any thoughts of superiority, any hatred, any fear, because make no mistake, these things are showing up in our country because they are showing up or have shown up in ourselves. We must look at our neighbors and see a reflection of ourselves. We can’t just turn away and say, they are uneducated, they are racist, they are hateful. We must find those things in ourselves and turn them out. Then offer our hand to our neighbors.

We must. Or else we may soon find that we can no longer recognize or live with ourselves.

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” 

Let us be friends with raised voices. Now.

A Definition of Privilege

I woke up the other morning with a definition of privilege floating around in my mind. I wasn’t working on a piece about privilege, so I’m not sure why it appeared at that moment, however since there has been a great deal of discussion and debate about white privilege I got myself to my computer to see where the definition led. It seemed like a clear and simple depiction for the concept. White privilege (or any kind of privilege) is the luxury of imagination. It is the luxury to choose whether or not to imagine. It is the luxury to use the phrases, “I can only imagine,” or “I can’t even imagine.”

People of privilege can only imagine the experience of being followed around a store from the moment you walk in until the moment you leave, because of an assumption that the color of your skin makes you more likely to shoplift. People of privilege can only imagine what it’s like to be stopped by the police over and over and over again because of racial profiling.  People of privilege can choose not to imagine what it’s like to grow up as a young black man in the United States knowing that because of the color of your skin you are more likely to go to prison or to die young. According to this disturbing article in the New York Times, 1.5 Million Missing Black Men, “more than one out of every six black men who today should be between 25 and 54 years old have disappeared from daily life,” disappeared either through incarceration or death. People of privilege can only imagine what it’s like to be the mother or father of one of those young men and know that you can’t keep your child safe from bigotry and the physical, spiritual, and emotional harm it brings.  People of privilege can only imagine what it’s like to be the only white face in a classroom, or a boardroom. People of privilege can only imagine what it’s like to be hired, or asked to sit on a committee to make a company or school look good, rather than simply because of the talents and skills you bring. People of privilege can choose not to imagine what it’s like to be hated simply because of the color of your skin. That is a true  luxury, having the choice to not even imagine what the suffering of others is truly like.

I think what is at the root of the resistance we are feeling in our society is that white America is only now truly beginning to recognize the privilege they have had the benefit of, and rather than acknowledging it and seeking to correct the imbalance, many are giving in to the deep fear  of losing that privilege. Only now are we beginning to notice what it’s like to be identified by the color of our skin. Previously, the only time it really was relevant was on a form where Caucasian was usually listed first. We were raised knowing that the good guy always wore white and the bad guy was always dressed in black. We didn’t have to use our imagination to make ourselves the good guy, it was assumed.

I hate to even have to make this point, but I know there will be people who point out exceptions. So of course there are white people who don’t have the same privilege as others, and white people who are followed around in stores because of how they look, and a myriad of other exceptions. That isn’t the point. The point is we have the luxury of pointing out the exceptions.  

It’s always been my hope that one day we will be able to celebrate each other’s gifts and beauty without prejudice. There are many steps along the way to that day, one of the first is to recognize and acknowledge the imbalances in our society. Only then can we address them and work to create balance. Imagining that day is a luxury I will gladly indulge in. However, imagination alone won’t get us there, it takes looking deeply at ourselves and facing our own prejudices and privileges, then rooting out the first and sharing the second.

Being Human

Recently I was pondering what it is to be human. What is it about this human life that is distinctive? What makes it different from the life of a cow, an insect, a rock, an ape, a river, a tree, or a flower?

It’s not memory or grief, because elephants have been shown to have the capacity for both. It’s not language, because so many creatures have a language all their own. It’s not music; have you ever listened to a catbird go through its whole repertoire with zest and joy? Having lived with cats for years, I’m convinced we are not the only ones capable of at least moments of self-awareness.  We’re not the only ones who care for our young, or live in family groups. I think we’ve all seen instances of the connection between a dog and a person that show we are not the only ones capable of love.

There are some rather dubious distinctions humans share. We are the only ones who seem to see ourselves as separate from our environment. We are the only ones who would knowingly drive ourselves to extinction by ignoring our impact on the earth we depend upon for life. We are the only ones who take pleasure in the suffering of others. We alone take more than we need, and give back to that source so little.

The dubious aside, surely it’s more than just our opposable thumbs that make us different! Some might say it’s our souls, but there is debate about even that.

So here is my theory. I think it comes down to two things; wonder and laughter.

One of our greatest gifts as human beings on this journey is our ability to look into a dark night sky and be filled with a sense of wonder at the vastness of the Universe, and the smallness of our individual lives. Then in the very next minute be filled with equal wonder at the immense impact one small life can have upon the whole. We can marvel at the almost unimaginable variety of colors, flowers, birds, insects, or trees. We can feel awe looking through a microscope at the tiniest building blocks of life, only to be awed yet again when we find a way to see inside those building blocks too.

As if the gift of wonder wasn’t enough, we also have the joy of laughter; deep, hearty, belly laughs, the irresistible giggles of babies, side splitting laughter among friends. One of the greatest gifts of laughter is our ability to laugh at ourselves. When we do the silly things that humans do, we can reflect on, and laugh at our own foibles. It is a gift that is often underused. It is an amazingly powerful gift because it prevents us from taking ourselves too seriously. It helps us to remember the immenseness of the universe in that night sky, and to feel joy for our small place within it. Laughter allows an outflow for that sense of wonder when it begins to bubble up inside you and needs an outlet. And when that wonder and joy, in the form of laughter, combine, a wonderful, uniquely human, alchemy takes place. Together they form imagination!

In that moment when wonder gives birth to insight, something so clear that you can’t help but laugh with joy, imagination is ignited! Your vision of what is possible in the expansiveness of the universe is clear. And in our uniquely human way, we can then imagine a shift in that universe, a whole different way of being and living, laughing all the while.

Imagine that!

May your New Year be filled with wonder and laughter!

Love Is All We Need...

The other day I was reading a blog post about love that someone had shared. It compared the songs “All You Need Is Love” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney (who was left out of the article) and “Love Is Not Enough” by Trent Reznor.  I won’t go into the whole blog post; I’m sure you can find it and read it for yourself if you like. The author of the post is entitled to his perspective on Love. However, it prompted me to express my own thoughts on love, because I take issue with some of his assumptions. The reason I want to address it at all is because I think they are assumptions that many people make about “people like me” (my own quotes), who do find value in the words All You Need Is Love, just not in the way people might assume.

I don’t know anyone who thinks that love alone will solve all the world’s problems. Love is not meant to be a fairy tale idea of little bunnies helping you straighten up your kitchen (though that would be nice), while you await Prince/Princess Charming. Love is a verb. Love is an action. Love is not just an ideal, or words in a song.

For me the important part is that love is a starting place. Only starting from there can I change anything or solve a problem in a lasting way. Love is a place that I return to (as often as I can I remember), before I speak or act, and I wish more often before I drive. I don’t expect love to magically fix or change anything. I do expect actions done with and from love to change things for the better.

I don’t think love is the solution to all our problems, but I do believe love is the beginning of the solution to all our problems.  To me “All You Need Is Love” is about where I am living from, not about some idealized notion of how love or relationships will be. It’s not an excuse to not do the difficult work in life or relationships, but rather the internal strength that allows me to do just that. Love gives me strength to speak difficult truths, to peacefully stand up for what I believe in, to love my neighbor whether or not I agree with him, to admit when I’m wrong. Love allows me to recognize and let go of what isn’t life giving or loving in my life. Love helps me to forgive and be forgiven. Love allows me to help create a better world, because it will be a world that begins from love.

From my perspective, actions great or small done from and with love, are all we need.