Conversations with My Soul

Offerings of the Heart ~ Snake's Fall from Grace

2012-02-06T04:31:00.000-08:00

This is a story I wrote a few years ago. I have been reminded of it a couple times in the last week. So I figured it was time to share it again. Enjoy! I enjoyed writing it and the new perspective it brought. The parts that always jump out at me as the key every time I read it are towards the end in bold - you may have a different key!

The snake’s fall from Grace. Once he was revered for his great wisdom for he was long and old and wise and in each of his many vertebrae carried the stories of the Universe. He could fit into places others couldn’t and wrap himself around All. He was a messenger and a teacher.

He could show you the spiral with a curve of his tail and lead you to its center. Whether the center was the beginning or the end only he knew. He did not teach by instruction but by experience. And when souls chose to experience separation from the One he lead them to the place of separation, the great tree on Earth where the journey was made from Oneness to separation, from one realm to the other.

He was their guide. He led them there lovingly knowing the pain they would endure in their choice, but knowing that the wisdom would grow from that choice. He knew they could remember and find their way back to the tree. But when the first soul realized its aloneness, its fear of disconnection, it screamed a heart rending cry and when it finally, fearfully opened its eyes, the first thing it saw was snake. It’s companion and guide now something fearsome.

Snake still who snake was, he tried to comfort the soul but in its chosen human form it could no longer understand snake’s language or its movements, it could no longer see the spiral. Realizing this, snake then remained perfectly still. He changed his color so that he blended into the scenery, so that the soul would not be afraid.

Still he remains hidden everywhere we look. If we would see him in his true form we could begin the journey back. He waits patiently for us to remember so he can again guide us to the tree that serves as a bridge. Then we can be reunited in our human form with the Truth. Then can we live fully the choice that we made so long ago. For truly the choice was to experience the feeling of separation not to live in it. For to feel separation one must then also feel Oneness. The feeling of separation is the hiss of the snake that can lead us back. For if you feel separate then you must have some memory of being One. So allow the separation to lead you back to Oneness by its very existence, by the awareness of it and that it must have an opposite. Then will the snake raise its head and do its mesmerizing dance to lead you home again, home to wholeness.

Snake again your friend who leads you through the stars and along the spiral to the Source of All.

Offerings of the Heart ~ My Motto

2012-02-02T19:30:00.001-08:00

Let me be my yes, my heart an ember of love ever glowing. I had decided that this was my new motto, but I’ve changed my mind – slightly. My new motto is, I am my yes, my heart an ember of love ever glowing. I prefer “I am” statements, even if I’m not there yet.

Having the weird quirks that I do, I looked up the word motto. It comes from Latin, muttum for sound or utterance. I like that, it makes sense to me. I believe our words have an energy of their own. If I speak it, I have begun to create it, to create the life I want to live. I am my yes, my heart an ember of love ever glowing.

There have been lots of times when I was my yes only begrudgingly. I have had a practice of being willing for a long time now – or at least saying yes, even if I wasn’t entirely willing. For me that is the biggest step, my own willingness. My willingness to learn, to release, to trust, to forgive, to grow, to love, to live in and as Spirit. It was the first and biggest leap, Yes! Many times I yelled it at the sky, or more often at my car radio when songs would come on to remind me. I still occasionally roll my eyes, but usually now I say it joyfully and quietly. Yes. A tiny ripple of sound, a tiny ripple of energy. Yes, Spirit, I am willing. I will leap, and fly, knowing there will be wind.

I am my yes, my heart an ember of love ever glowing.

Offerings of the Heart ~ Lessons from Stink Bugs

2012-01-31T19:36:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about beetles lately, specifically stink bugs. Then tonight as I was sitting here a shadow kept circling and circling on the wall. It was a stink bug flying around and around the light fixture in the center of the room. A gentle reminder that I had planned to write about them but hadn't done it yet.

I was thinking about them because one attacked a friend of mine. I didn't know they could hurt you but this one did - stung him or sprayed him or something right on the cheek. It apparently was quite painful.

I've had a bunch of them over the past few years that come inside in the winter. I'm inclined to take note of the animals, birds and bugs that come into my life and see if they have something to teach. It didn't occur to me right away to sit with the beetle to see what it might have to teach. Not until after my friend's incident. Then I began to ponder it. What is distinctive about the stink bug? Well, it's stink of course. It is a defense mechanism, it will spray the odor to keep predators away.

Hmmm....what is there in that to learn? So I asked myself, do I ever use my own stink to protect myself? Ha! It was actually a timely question for me. It seems lately that a lot of old records I didn't think I played anymore were spinning in my mind again and I was hearing the same old stories. Therefore, my answer was simple. Absolutely. I sometimes slip back into my old sh*t and tell myself that it is somehow protecting me. I did it just the other day. I heard words come out of my mouth and saw the pattern repeat itself from about 20 years ago! I said the exact same thing I had before, coming from the same exact fear. Except this time the fear was completely unfounded. I couldn't believe it was still there lurking.

Thank God for the stink bug though, because I recognized it even as I was saying it and a little while later after sitting with the fear a bit, I took it back! I know that sounds like a little kid thing to do but I believe our words have creative power. I can't take back the energy I released but I can create differently in the next moment by looking the fear squarely in the eye and telling it I'm no longer afraid and with new words re-creating.

Stink bug my friend, thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to be aware of my own stinky patterns and for the reminder it brought that I can also make new ones. You can go back outside now.

Offerings of the Heart - States of Being

2012-01-23T05:55:00.001-08:00

I enjoyed the beauty of the ice hanging from the tips of the trees on my walk this morning. As I wandered and admired the frozen motion from tree to tree I was struck by two thoughts that made me look at the water cycle differently and see it as an amazing teacher.

The first thought was how completely the water had transformed its state of being. The air around it changed temperature and the water transformed with the change. Its essence didn’t change, still H₂O, just its form of being.

I started looking at Spirit in terms of the water cycle. The pure essence and energy of Spirit is the gas phase. As Spirit takes form as an individual soul or individual expression of Spirit, it takes on its fluid state and moves with ease and grace. Then as Spirit takes shape and expresses in the human form, or plant or animal or star or rock, etc. though I am focusing on the human form here, it becomes solid. Never did it change its essential essence of Spirit; it simply changed its state of being. And when the solid form ceases to be solid anymore, it will return either directly to its Source or remain in the soul form a bit longer (or maybe a lot longer). It seemed a fascinating way to look at being.

I was grateful to the tiny drops of water that had transformed so easily into their solid form for the opportunity to see differently.

The other thought their beauty brought to me was in relation to how easily they transform and yet retain the essence of what they are. In our cycle when we solidify we seem to live believing we are something other than our true essence. I started to wonder about what I would want to be seen if my life did suddenly freeze. In the strands of ice, I saw light and beauty and the water that they are, paused in motion. If my life froze and others could walk past and see it would they see the beauty of my true essence, of the Spirit that I am? It certainly gives me food for thought. My desire would be for me to live the essence of unconditional love that I am and for that to be what would be visible if my state of being suddenly changed.

Much wisdom is held in one drop of water.

Offerings of the Heart ~ Faith, Hope and Jane

2012-01-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

Years ago my Mom’s best friend, Jane, discovered she had cancer. She lived across the street from us when I was growing up, that second Mom kind of thing. We ran all over the neighborhood playing games and getting in trouble and driving both of them crazy!

I was older when she found out she had cancer. It was pretty insidious and eventually took her life. I remember going to see her and being surprised by how thin and small she looked. She had a large personality and so always seemed larger than life to me. Yet there she was in her bed seemingly so small.

I remember bringing her a small stone, hematite to be exact. I love hematite and I had read about its healing properties. When I saw her that last time I knew everyone thought it would be the last time. Everyone but me that is. I held firmly to the belief that she could be healed. I think at that point I was the only one still holding out hope for that, but that was part of why I felt I had to. I thought if no one had hope, if no one believed a miracle was possible then it couldn’t be. The miracle didn’t happen in this case. I know my Mom still misses her.

Over the past few years or so I’ve pondered the idea of hope and faith. I don’t really like those words now because of the focus they seem to put outside of one's self. Hoping for something in the future or having faith in something that exists outside of me. I’ve come to feel that hope and faith should be ideas that lead you to focus within, to the Source within. I’m not saying that Spirit is not outside of me, I find Spirit in all things. However, my connection to Spirit is within my heart. It is there that I will find hope or faith should I need them. Though to tell you the truth I find that when I am truly living from Spirit I don’t have a need for faith or hope because I am already connected to all that I need.

I wish I knew all that the last day I sat beside Jane, not because it would have saved her life but because I bet I would have seen that same knowing there in her eyes. Maybe knowing she had all she needed within her would have made saying goodbye a little easier.

Offerings of the Heart ~ Look Up

2012-01-09T19:21:00.001-08:00

I’ve been pondering a gift my daughter gave me for Christmas. I mentioned it in an earlier blog but it has stayed with me since I opened it on Christmas morning. If you missed the other post about it, it was a box with a bow. When I opened it the box seemed to be empty, but she had written in the bottom of the box, Look up. So I looked at the lid of the box and there she had written, Love and drawn a heart.

It seemed to be empty, yet I have never received anything more full. It gave me a whole new perspective on what empty is. It also left me wondering at her wisdom. Look up and find Love.

For me looking up, raising my eyes is not literal. I don’t imagine a God on a cloud up in Heaven. I see a God all around me in everything. For me the wisdom she offered is clear and simple, look up means, to raise my eyes, to raise my consciousness, to raise my awareness, to raise my life to love. Look up and find Love.

Thank you again my little light for sharing your wisdom!

Offerings of the Heart, January 4, 2012 ~ I Am Born

2012-01-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

The Symphony
by Lynda Allen

There is a symphony born of the wings of birds.
An unseen conductor guides them
first left, then right,
low notes followed by high
with a quick dip, then sharp rise
a gentle, fluid arc of movement and sound.
A crescendo of feathers moving air
as they soar out of sight,
the last note carrying me with them.

Carry me with them they did. Yesterday was my birthday. I share it with my Mother. What a gift she gave me sharing her life and her day of birth with me. In celebration of my birthday and the baby New Year I felt called to visit with my bird friends so I went to see the swans and eagles. I laughed the whole way there as there was an escort of eagles all along the way with at least six that I saw on the drive there.

When I arrived there was an eagle awaiting me as I parked. I just sat in my car and watched him for a while. Eventually he looked up and so did I, where I found another eagle taking flight from the tree above him. They flew off across the water and my heart soared with them.

The rest of my visit was just as glorious. I had gone there because I knew I needed to do a dedication of sorts for my birthday, a dedication of my heart. I was overjoyed that the birds were willing to join in the process with me. As I stood on the bench of a picnic table and spoke my commitment to the sky, the water, the trees and the birds an eagle approached over the water. He banked off to my right and as I finished my statements he floated there, dipping and soaring, turning and circling at the level of the treetops where I got a lovely view of his joyful playing with the wind.

Tears filled my eyes as my joy equaled his. My dedication had been joyfully given and joyfully received. It was a great honor.

Towards the end of my process the words, I am born, kept moving through my mind, until at last as I looked out over the water I stopped and realized the significance of the words. I Am born. Indeed and in deed, I was accepting the birth of I Am through my heart. I Am born of my heart. I Am borne within my heart.

My heart dedicated, the eagles watching over, I am born! I am joy, I am honored, I am humbled.

January 3, 2012 ~ A Favorable Time

2012-01-03T04:30:00.000-08:00

As far as I know, the world is not ending this year, it is beginning! In the past I had the opportunity on two occasions to hear Mayan elders speak of the prophecies for 2012. Neither of them said the world will come to a close this year. What they said was that the visionaries of their ancestry were unable to see beyond December 21, 2012. It was as if there was a veil there that they could not see beyond. Consequently, there was no way to predict what might happen beyond that date.

I see that as an amazing opportunity! Perhaps humanity has an opportunity for a clean slate of sorts this year. Perhaps we have the chance to choose our destiny on a mass scale. Perhaps when you get right down to it, it is simply an opportunity to choose the better part of ourselves, to choose to live the better part of ourselves. Or to borrow a term from a meditation a friend led this weekend, to shift from humankind to Godkind.

I don’t know your beliefs when it comes to God or Spirit or whatever name you use for God, but from my perspective we are all vessels for a divine spark of light. Much of our lives are lived with that light shrouded. I think we begin as children with that light shining forth bright and pure but as we grow we are taught to cover that light, dim it or even deny it. Hopefully, our souls eventually call out to us loudly enough that we begin searching at some point in our lives for the light that was always there within and without.

Life then is a process of knowing, forgetting, remembering and returning again to knowing. Returning to knowing. For me that is what 2012 is all about. The Mayan prophecies, whatever your feelings about them, simply serve as an opportunity for remembering. After all, if you thought the world really would end in December or even tomorrow, where would you live from? Your heart or your head? Your love or your fear? Your Divine light or your human darkness?

One of the origins of the word opportunity is from Latin, opportunitatem, meaning favorable time. 2012, a favorable time to begin anew, to return to knowing, to live our original Divine selves. A welcome opportunity that I will gladly accept now - no need to wait until December!

Offerings of the Heart ~ January 2, 2012

2012-01-02T14:58:00.001-08:00

Wow, I’m way behind in wrapping up the blog for 2011, in bringing my blogging about the Pledge of Peace and love to a close. I think there’s a good reason for that though, besides the fact that the last two weeks were ridiculously busy and fun. I think I haven’t sat down to write the “last” blog on the Pledge of Peace and Love because it is not over, it is simply transforming.

Writing about peace and love on such a regular basis had a powerful impact upon my life. It guided me to be more focused in each moment on where I was making choices from. I’m so glad that I made the pledge to myself to write and practice on a daily basis.

Each new year I refrain from making resolutions, but instead set intentions. My friend Christine and I host an annual event called the Intentional Creation Party. It is a time of gathering together in the silence for listening deeply to the voice of Spirit and allowing that guidance to lead us to intentions for our lives for the year. It is a deep joy to create with Christine and to create and hold the sacred space for others to sit within for connection with Spirit.

Between the Pledge of Peace and Love and the Intentional Creation Party it is clear what is mine to do this year. As I sat by the side of Mother River yesterday and made the offering of my heart in service, I knew that the blog would transform along with the offering. The eagle flew by to affirm my commitment.

What is mine to do this year then, is to live from a deeper place within myself. To sit at the center of what I call the Unbreakable Heart, the Heart of God within myself and live from there. It really is a natural outgrowth or deepening of the Pledge of Peace and Love. I will be writing about and sharing my adventures here in living more deeply from my heart.

I invite you to join me in living more deeply from your heart this year and to share the wonders of your journey with me.

I wish you a joy filled, peaceful, heart centered 2012!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 76 A Second Chance

2011-12-28T19:33:00.001-08:00

Today I had sort of a second chance at a situation I posted about in October. I was in a museum in DC when a Mom got very angry with her son. I didn’t hear the exact words that she said because she said them in a low voice, but they were threatening and she had gripped him by the arm in a none too gentle way. I had a similar experience in a parking lot outside a store in October and didn’t know how best to react. Today I remembered that experience and remembered the judgment I had felt toward the mother, which I’m sure didn’t contribute anything positive to the situation. So today I chose to react differently.

I stood calmly a few feet away and continued to look at the display in the room we shared. Rather than judge her for her anger, I simply found my center of peace and focused on letting it flow from me. I also chose to remain there to allow the peace to continue to flow but also to stand witness to that moment. She knew there was someone else there and the child knew there was someone else there. I don’t mean stand witness as in a witness to a crime, but more to hold the space for peace in that moment and to be a reflector for each of them to see themselves in, for whatever that was worth. I stood calmly and peacefully where I was, looking around until after they left the room.

I will never know if they felt the peace I offered in that moment, but I felt it and I felt the difference reacting differently made in me. I can only hope that it created an opportunity for peace to be felt for them as well.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 75 Contrast as a Teacher

2011-12-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today was not a day filled with Peace. There was no particular reason for it to be less than peaceful, at least not one that I can put into words. It just seemed that even the air around me was not peaceful. It could be all the chaotic energy of people traveling and stuck in traffic or the chaotic energy of the end of the year, but either way it left me feeling decidedly less than peaceful. It even got the point where I was thinking to myself, I’m tired of being peaceful all the time! Now that’s me pretty darn far out of my center of peace. And I couldn’t easily find my way back to it despite all my practicing. It was as if I simply couldn’t remember any of my practices of peace. That is not a pleasant feeling for me. At some point though I had to just be ok with where I was and try not to interact with people from that place but allow myself to feel it. We all feel that way sometimes and there isn’t much point in denying it. The key is what you do with it.

Well today what I did with it was feel frustrated, scream at the sky, rant at my computer and just plain feel unlike myself. As uncomfortable as that was, sometimes that’s the best I can do. So I allowed myself to feel as unpeaceful as I was feeling and really notice the discomfort of that. I didn’t like it, but it did show to me how much happier I feel when I am living from a place of peace. When I am living from and choosing from peace I don’t often scream at the sky! I guess contrast is a valuable teacher even if it is uncomfortable.

Now I just have to figure out how to not allow the chaos of the holidays or the world around me be such a distraction from my path of peace. From now on, at least I will have that contrast to refer back to as incentive.

I also had the opportunity to look at another aspect of it when my beloved gently reminded me of how intensely I have been looking at and thinking about peace for over two months now through this Pledge of Peace and Love. As he said it I also realized that I hadn’t blogged in a few days. Was there a connection? I know that this Pledge truly does keep the focus on Peace and Love on the forefront for me. How do I keep it there if I’m not blogging for a few days as I did over the holidays, or worse yet when this Pledge ends? After all it was only supposed to be through the end of year. I’ll be pondering that this week, hopefully from a place of peace.

For now I will be grateful for the contrast that showed me how truly beautiful that center of peace is. I’m grateful as well for this Pledge that has given me the opportunity to place Peace and Love so front and center in my life that to be without them even for an afternoon felt so terribly uncomfortable.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 74 A Gift of Love

2011-12-27T19:17:00.001-08:00

On Christmas day I received a gift beyond measure. My youngest daughter gave me a gift in a lovely green box. When I opened the box I found written on the bottom of the box the words, Look up. When I looked at the inside of the lid of the box I found the word Love. She had given me the gift of love. It was a most amazingly beautiful gift. Love given so freely and so purely and so joyfully. A box full of love was just exactly what I wanted for Christmas! I must have been very good last year.

It also served as a beautiful reminder of the true meaning of Christmas – a day that celebrates a gift of love to the world. And according to my daughter, all I need do to receive that gift is look up. How profoundly simple. I might say look within but really it’s the same thing. Look to the source of all Love and live from there.

I’m so grateful to my sweet daughter for the reminder and for a gift that so touched my heart. I hope that you received a gift of love as well.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 72 Christmas Eve ~ The Light Within

2011-12-24T05:23:00.000-08:00

On Thursday on the Solstice, I rejoiced in the return of the physical light. Tonight I rejoice in the return of the light of Spirit. For me Christmas is an opportunity each year to not only celebrate the birth of Jesus, but also to celebrate that same light in each of us that shone so brightly in him. It is an opportunity to allow that light to shine with nothing covering it, nothing dimming its brilliance.

For me it is a time of deep gratitude for the remembering that we each have a spark of divinity within us. I rejoice in seeing it in others and I rejoice in remembering it within myself. There is such joy in connecting with that light, sitting with that light and allowing it to warm me and radiate from me. I believe that each choice I make from Love and Peace fans that flame within me and makes it leap ever higher.

I think there is another reason that Christmas helps us remember that light within ourselves; children. A birth of a great light is celebrated on Christmas day and through the joy we see in children’s eyes we see reflected the light born within each heart. Babies and children are closer to their joy that most adults. Whether they are consciously aware of it or not, they seem to be more connected to Spirit than most adults. I think we are working toward a time when that shifts (hooray!), but I think that is part of what helps adults remember the light at Christmas – we see it all around us reflected in the images of the newborn babe and on the faces of the children in our lives. What a joy it is to see that pure light shining forth and what a joy it is to feel it flicker within me in response.

The remembering of the light within is a gift I hope each heart receives no matter what you celebrate this time of year.

I think it’s perfect that tonight on Christmas Eve it will be a new moon. All the better for each of our stars to shine brightly forth in celebration! Merry Christmas!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 70 From Deepest Darkness There Came Great Light

2011-12-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't seen this on Facebook yet. This is my gift of Love for the holidays...

This time of year is always inspiring for me; the returning of the light, the joy overflowing, the kindness shared, the love expressed. It is always the returning of the light that seems to inspire me in writing. This year was no different. I offer the story below not just to those who celebrate Christmas but to all who celebrate the light. It is my gift to each of you, in celebration of the light within each of us. Enjoy in Joy!

May your holidays be filled with the Peace of knowing and the Joy of wonder! ~ Lynda

From deepest darkness there came great light.

It matters where the light falls

A manger is a trough from which horses and cattle are fed. Once a manger was padded with hay that a baby might rest upon it and the world be fed. Gentle hands laid him to rest upon a bed of straw and a great light from deepest darkness fell upon him.

They did not know that it matters where the light falls, that if it falls upon a heart so open, it will find there not just a home, but a mirror to reflect it back. When they looked upon him they saw the great light shining back through his heart, his smile, his touch, his words. But it matters where the light falls. For some, the reflected light from deepest darkness warmed and illuminated them and they felt great and abiding joy. For others the light was blinding, and they could not look directly at it. They feared it because they knew that to look at the sun could do great harm. They didn’t know that the son meant them no harm.

It matters where the light falls. Some saw the light from afar and knew it was a beacon that could guide them. They let the light fall upon their hearts and found it would lead them across vast expanses and bring them at last to the source of the light. And so it did. It brought them to a tiny manger from which they were fed, one small heart reflecting the light for all to see. For that is what he was from the moment he was laid in the manger, simply a reflector of the great light from deepest darkness.

It matters where the light falls. If it falls upon the doors of an Inn that are closed, the light will warm and illuminate only the door, not able to enter across the threshold.

That night long ago, it fell upon a stable whose doors were swung wide and whose creatures were welcoming. That night it found an open manger, a receptive place, for the light to be laid with gentleness upon a soft bed created with love. That night the great light that sprung from deepest darkness came to rest upon the heart of a child. His heart, which was so great in one so small, welcomed the light and there was immeasurable joy.

His heart shone forth with the light. His heart was the light. His heart is each heart.

The great light from deepest darkness ever shines and ever touches all, it matters only whether it falls upon a closed door or upon a place with doors open and a manger waiting where the light can rest and feed all.

Lynda Allen
December 17, 2011

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 69 I'll have peace with my fries please

2011-12-21T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today a funny thing happened. I am constantly in a state of wonder about how the Universe works and arranges things.

On my walk this morning at the farthest point from my house I noticed several pieces of trash along the sidewalk. It made me think that I should bring a bag with me on my walks to clean up things like that as I go. After all it is all a part of my neighborhood, my community. I didn’t pick them up though because I didn’t have a bag. I just made a mental note to bring a bag in the future and hoped the people who lived there would pick up the trash. As I reached my own house I noticed a piece of trash on the sidewalk. I smiled to myself and stopped to pick it up.

It was a McDonald’s french fry box that had been flattened. I picked it up gingerly. As I looked at it I noticed that it said in large letters, “I want fries with _____.” It was a contest. You fill in the blank with what you want with your fries and submit it for the chance at a $25,000 prize. I didn’t really think much of it but as soon as I got to my front door the words came loud and clear in my head, “I want fries with World Peace.” I laughed and thought that would be funny, but by the time I got inside the house the words and thought were flowing. So I typed up why I wanted World Peace with my fries and how I wanted to do that with McDonald's. I told them I’m a writer and I want to write a booklet about peace for them to put in all their restaurants and that I want the fries box to have a peace sign on it and quotes about peace from around the world. Why not?

Who knows what will happen with it, but the opportunity fell right in front of me and who am I to question opportunity? My heart led me and I followed. After all that’s what this pledge is about. And if there is one person at McDonald's who reads the entry and thinks more about peace, that’s spectacular. If they like the idea and put a booklet about peace in all their restaurants so that lots of people think more about peace that would be beautiful. I will let you know how it goes! You may get to vote for it one day next year…

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 68 Celebration of Life, Ruth Carver

2011-12-21T19:54:00.001-08:00

I went to a celebration of life service for Ruth Carver that was the perfect demonstration of how a life lived from love can touch so many lives so powerfully.

The service was for a friend’s Mom. I didn’t have the good fortune to know her while she was with us, but after the service I feel like I know her now. She was outspoken yet kind. She stood up for what she thought was right and even sometimes stood up for a different perspective just to make sure all sides were considered. She was an advocate for life long learning. In each picture they displayed of her there was a twinkle in her eye! She loved her family deeply and would do whatever she could to encourage and support them without judgment.

Each person who spoke about her at the service spoke with love and reverence, with joy and sorrow. They were each grateful that she had been a part of their lives and for whatever time they had shared with her. She had touched all of them deeply; she had been an inspiration to each of them.

She had lived from love and it showed in each person who knew her. What a beautiful legacy.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 67 Stoplight

2011-12-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

I was sitting at a stoplight today and noticed in my side mirror a pickup truck pulling a small open trailer. I remembered another time when I had been at the same stoplight behind a similar truck and trailer.

That day I was running late for work and the person with the trailer was driving rather slowly because the trailer was full – he was most likely heading to the dump which was nearby. I remember the day because it was an excellent learning for me.

I had been behind the truck for a few blocks and he was going entirely too slow for my liking. I got stuck at that light that day and of course it was his fault! I sat there at the red light fuming at him. Thank God I had that moment though because it gave me the time to notice how tense and angry I was. I stopped my train of thought and asked myself, is it really his fault that I got out the door late?

It was a moment of transition for me, a moment when I shifted and became more conscious of my choices and thoughts. I realized I had a choice. I could let go of the stress and simply wait for the light to change, knowing it was my own choices that made me late that day, not his. I wished him well on his way. I was so glad I got to shift the thoughts I was directing at him before he drove away.

Today as I was at that same light and remembering that day years ago, I wondered what if he had been able to feel and hear my thoughts? What if the people around us could hear our thoughts? Would we continue thinking the way we do? I felt kind of sick at the idea of him feeling all the anger I had been directing at him. The sad part for me is that I know that energy did reach him. He may not have been aware of it, but it did. I’m sorry that I touched his life with anger. I wouldn’t want to touch anyone’s life that way.

I’m deeply grateful to him and his trailer full of trash. I learned a valuable lesson then and today I saw it more deeply. How am I touching someone’s life today? My intention is to touch lives with love and peace. Thank you to the man in the truck for touching mine with the grace of learning.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 66 Caroling

2011-12-18T20:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went Christmas caroling with a large group of people. I hadn’t been in years. I think many of us who hadn’t been caroling in a long time or ever, felt a little strange at first. I quickly realized the amazing gift of love we brought to each house and the gift of love we received in return.

It is an annual event for some in the group and so there were a couple houses where they expected us and even one that had cookies waiting for us! Many other families though were completely surprised to find people singing at their door. If you could only have seen their faces with me! The delight, surprise and wonder of finding us there was beautiful. They brought their children and dogs out into the chilly night air to listen. Their smiles were worth every chilled finger and nose. I was brought to tears several times watching their reactions.

I knew we had set out with joy in our hearts, but I had not anticipated the outpouring of love that would occur. Voices raised in song often bring me to tears with the harmony and unity of the voices and the emotion they can carry. Tonight they carried love and love was sincerely offered in return – the light in a woman’s eyes and smile as she held her son’s hand on the porch, the happiness on a man’s face as he held his daughter in his arms and they listened together, a family of four on their porch not only for the song we sang for them but also for the one we sang at their neighbor’s house. It left me speechless.

Love offered in song without expectation and love returned with joy. What a beautiful, if not silent, night.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 62 Peace, Lynda

2011-12-15T03:33:00.001-08:00

In almost all of my emails I sign them Peace, Lynda. I could just make that my email signature and not have to type it each time, but I chose not to. I enjoy the act of typing it to each person. I feel like I’m genuinely wishing them peace and sending them peace. Is it possible to send peace electronically? Yes and no. Does the peace reach them through cyberspace? Probably not. Does it reach them through actual space? Yes. Because each time I type it there is intention behind it. There is the energy of peace intended for a specific person or people. I think that intention does carry that energy to them.

Of course, I don’t stop and think that intention every time I type it. Sometimes I’m rushed and sometimes I’m already thinking of the next email I have to write. Alas, I am human. However, it is part of my practice of peace. It serves as a reminder to me each day of what I am sending out into the world. I’ll admit that when I began signing emails that way I wasn’t nearly as clear about why I was choosing to do it. I simply was practicing peace and using my words to express that. Now I better understand the power of the intention behind it and what it carries forth into the world.

All the more reason to continue the practice and to let it serve as a reminder each time I type it.

Peace,
Lynda

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 61 Peace Behind the Wheel

2011-12-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was writing the other day about how the path of peace can sometimes be challenging. I didn’t realize just how challenging until I put the word Peace on my license plate!

First of all, you have to understand that I’m from Jersey. My Jersey take on peace is that your path of peace really come down to just two choices – two fingers making a peace sign or just one finger making a less than peaceful sign! Simple right?

I thought that I was pretty well along on my path of peace when I got my new license plate a year or so ago. I was wrong. Apparently my car was my last stand for a place where peace didn’t have free reign. I had become a far more peaceful driver than I used to be, no gestures and rarely any raised voices but still once I put that license plate on I quickly noticed where I wasn’t being so peaceful while driving.

It’s actually an excellent reminder to drive peacefully. Every single time I even think about driving aggressively or explaining, from the safety of my car, how the other drivers ought to get the heck out of my way, I remember the license plate. Then I imagine the faces of the other drivers as I zoom past them. In my mind I can see them roll their eyes and take my behavior as an affirmation of their skepticism about the possibilities of world peace. It may seem like a lot of pressure to put on myself, but the idea of anyone losing faith in the idea of peace because of my choices is enough to take my breath away. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that it’s enough to make me find my breath. It is enough to make me slow down, breathe, be polite and realize that I will get where I’m going even if I drive more mindfully. I will probably get there with less stress too.

The other drivers may never know the internal choices I make each day as I drive, but at least I know that when they see my license plate they have a chance to get a positive reminder of peace. That’s enough to make even the Jersey girl in me offer up a peace sign.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 60 Is Love Alive?

2011-12-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

A friend shared a song this morning called Winter Song. There was a line in it that jumped out at me, Is love alive in me? What a beautiful question. My answer was simple, yes. I love how that statement feels, love is alive in me.

Love is not just a feeling, not just a noun, love is an energy, love is alive. Love enlivens me. It is the source of life, it animates my human existence, it is my soul in motion through me. Love is in every cell of my body. Love is the core of who and what I am.

Living is simply an expression of that love. To live fully I need only let love flower from me, allow myself to be a bloom of love in the world. I cannot adequately express the joy of living the full expression of love. In the moments when I do fully live it I feel us all lifted, feel us all connected, feel the world of love that is possible.

This is why I am here, to allow love to be alive through me. Hallelujah!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 59 Peace is every step

2011-12-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

Living a life of peace is a beautiful gift and I find it gets easier every day that I practice, but getting easier and being easy are not the same thing. I love the book Peace is Every Step by Thích Nhất Hạnh. It is a wonderful guide to living a more peaceful life every day. It has helped me immensely. Still, I find that walking peace in every step is work!

It takes a commitment to living consciously in each moment, which of course is a goal of mindfulness. However, in the society I grew up in that was not what we were taught. It wasn’t that I was taught to live non-peacefully, but I wasn’t raised believing that I was creating my life in each moment with the choices I made. Quite honestly when I did begin to look at that as a way of living years ago, I didn’t really like it too much! It meant taking responsibility for my life in great and small ways. It meant that I couldn’t just point my finger at someone else and blame them for my life. It meant that I had a choice in each moment about how I would react to the events in my life.

It was work. It still is. The practicing shows up in all areas of my life. There are times as a parent when I would love to just say, “Because I say so!” Yet, that’s not how I’ve chosen to show up as a parent. We talk about issues that come up. We look at them from different sides. We talk to each other peacefully (most of the time) and we listen peacefully to the other person. They each have a voice in our family discussions.

I’m sure it’s not easy for them sometimes. For instance, when they are stressed about a project for school with a looming deadline and are feeling angry and consequently are short with everyone, I gently ask them when the assignment was given and when they started working on it. The answers to these questions are generally reluctantly given. Eventually we come around to the fact that it’s not the teacher’s fault or the fault of the weather or the cats or anything like that. In fact there is no fault it was simply a choice they made to wait until the last minute to work on the project and there are consequences to that choice. While this may not be what they want to hear at that moment, they understand that they have a choice. That pays off because we then also talk about the choice they have now that they are down to the wire, they can continue to stress about it or they can focus and do the best they can. It’s almost always less bleak than it seemed to them once they take a breath and refocus. It’s not always easy though walking that path with them, but it’s always worth it. It’s amazing to see what they can do once they realize they really do have choices and really can create their lives through those choices.

Of course it also means that I can’t then turn around the next day and be short with them about a choice that I made. We definitely shine the light on the path for each other, which is a wonderful and challenging gift.

So while I love practicing peace with every step, sometimes those steps do seem to be uphill. Fortunately, the view of my life from the peak is breathtaking!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ 58 Gratitude

2011-12-11T05:29:00.000-08:00

I am blessed. I have many wonderful people in my life. I am grateful for the time I get to spend with them. Tonight I had the opportunity to spend some quiet time with two new friends. It is such a gift to spend quality time with people, to get to know them on a deeper level, to become better acquainted with their hearts and to share my own heart. Last weekend I had an amazing girls' night with six friends. It was a night filled with laughter, sharing, foot rubs, popcorn and just plain snuggling on the couch. I love that I have girlfriends I can snuggle with!

One of the best parts of all these relationships is the gratitude I have for them in the moment of the experience of them. I think that is because this year has been full of reminder after reminder about how precious life is and how precious each moment with loved ones is.

Gratitude and love go hand in hand. Gratitude is an expression of the love I’m feeling. Gratitude is an affirmation of love. I give thanks for each of the beautiful hearts that I share this path with; your light in my life is a gift beyond measure.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 56 Sacred Moments

2011-12-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

An interesting day. I was listening to an interview on the radio today. There was some discussion of the interviewee’s travels to sacred places. I had that pang of, oh I’d love to travel to some of the worlds sacred places and immerse myself in that energy. At first there was a longing to it and a wishing. Then I remembered the title of a book called Everyday Sacred and I realized I was wishing for something I already have.

Each moment is sacred. Every place I walk was touched by ancestors. There is nowhere I can be where Spirit is not. Everything and every moment is sacred. Then I remembered the demonstration I had received of sacred moments just this morning.

As I was walking along the sidewalk some movement caught my eye. I looked down to the swath of grass between the sidewalk and the road and there was a mourning dove sitting there. It didn’t fly away when I looked at it. I stopped. I was concerned at first that it was hurt. I was standing only a foot or so away from it, but still it didn’t take flight. I didn’t see any signs of injury. It just stood there looking at me and I stood there looking back. It was a beautiful moment of intimacy being that near to each other and there was such openness in my heart as I looked at my bird friend. Love passed between us as we looked at each other, sensed each other. I was grateful to get to be so near to the beautiful creature without scaring it. I couldn’t help but smile with the joy of that moment. I didn’t recognize it as sacred until I was wishing for those sacred places they spoke of on the radio. It was then that I went back and felt that moment with the dove and knew the sacredness of it and knew that it is available in each moment.

Even in moments of sorrow, like when later in the day I heard about another shooting at my alma mater Virginia Tech. I know that today’s incident was not the same as the one that claimed 33 lives, but the sorrow for those involved is the same. Each life makes ripples and so does the loss of life. So I took a few moments to honor the sacredness of the lives lost there today. I was grateful for the reminder I had this morning of the sacredness of each moment, but only now as I’m writing these words am I struck by the fact that it was a mourning dove that served as my teacher.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 55 Voice

2011-12-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight I watched some friends sing at an open mic night. I love to hear people sing, especially those moments when the voice is the only instrument you hear. There is something so powerful about a voice, it doesn’t matter whether is gravely or pure and true, as long as it’s coming from the heart and soul. It transports and inspires me.

Here’s the thing though, I always sit there and think, How brave! I know I’m not the only one in the audience thinking that. Yet, why should it take such courage to share our voices? One of our first great accomplishments in life is to learn to speak, to use our voice. When then do we become self conscious of it? When and why does it suddenly take courage?

It is a gift that we each have that is unique and beautiful. Yes, of course I’m not just talking about singing anymore. I’m talking about sharing our hearts, our souls through our words, sharing our insights and knowings, sharing our dreams and desires. These are things that should carry us to great heights, we should be able to soar on the notes of our own songs and celebrate how they weave together with others to create a universal harmony.

I think part of our hesitation is that we have not been taught to be good listeners. It seems we rarely take the time to be still when another is talking and truly hear them. If someone is honoring us by speaking from their heart surely we should honor them in return by listening from ours.

From a place of love I will share my voice and from that same place of love I will hear yours.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 54 Moon Lessons

2011-12-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

Over the past week or two I’ve been watching the moon. I had never really thought about it before, but I love that in terms of the moon the opposite of full is not empty, but new. I love that perspective. I think it's a way of looking at things that we should adopt.

I have thought a lot about the idea of empty and full this year and truly have been watching the moon all year while pondering it. I wonder why it didn’t strike me until now the importance of the words we use to describe her.

When she is new she is neither empty nor hidden. She is there in the sky just as ever she was, only sitting quietly in the stillness, in the shadow. For me it’s as if she has turned her face away from us and gone within herself, only to slowly reemerge stage by stage, brighter and brighter. She has gone within to the light she can only truly see from there, the light that is always shining on that other side of herself and she returns to her fullness with the light shining forth, reflecting that light to all. What a wonderful teacher is the moon!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 53 Indeed

2011-12-05T04:32:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was thinking about the word indeed. It is a word that has crept into my everyday usage over the past ten years. Until yesterday though I had never really thought about it. As my friends know I like to look at and play with words so it’s a surprise I never looked at it this way before.

It’s pretty straightforward, you break the word down and it becomes In Deed. But when I finally stopped and looked at that I was blown away. I realized the power of it when I looked at it that way. I am a firm believer in the idea that our thoughts and words have a power and energy of their own. So when I looked at indeed as In Deed I realized what I had been saying over the years. I had been calling for my yes to be shown in my actions, in my deeds. I had been calling for everything I applied the word to, to be shown in its deeds rather that its words. Underneath it all it is a word that calls for one to live life in integrity, for what you speak to be what you live, for what you believe to be expressed through your actions, your words, your choices, your deeds.

Some part of me must have understood the deeper meaning of the word because I began using it as my spiritual journey deepened. Part of me would say, my mind has finally caught up! Though I think the truth is that it is finally time for me to consciously look more deeply at it. I knew it was important as I noticed it cropping up in my writing and speaking but never stopped to consider it consciously. I just allowed it to be there and took note of it. Now I will be more conscious of the use of the word and what it means to me and how I am living it in my life and how I can live it more deeply in deed.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 52 Path to Peace Within

2011-12-05T04:00:00.001-08:00

I had to practice peace pretty intensely this past Friday night. I received some distressing news that I couldn’t do anything about. I had no power to help or fix or heal. It was a situation that was unsettling and sad. It was a night I had all to myself too, so it was very quiet.

It was the kind of thing that knocked me out of my peace and the worry it brought with it made it challenging to remember to return to a place of peace. Worry can definitely be a distraction from my inner place of peace. I think it makes it difficult because worry takes me right to my head and out of my heart. While in my head I can come up with all sorts of scenarios that are distressing!

Eventually, once I could feel the stress in my body and could notice the stories my mind was creating I remembered I had a choice. While I was still concerned for my friend I was able to use the energy of that concern more constructively. After all at the root of the concern was love. So I focused on the love rather than the worry. I sent all the love I could knowing that it would touch her in some way, knowing that sending love to her rather than worry would help her far more.

Of course it helped me too. Once I focused on love I was able to find a little peace with the situation. I was still unsettled and feeling sadness, which of course is ok, I just wasn’t letting it run away with me and so I was able to sit with those feelings more peacefully. It was good practice in both love and peace, and goodness knows I needed both that night.

All my practice over the years of remaining in or returning to a place of peace have helped me know the path to peace within myself which aids me in returning to that feeling and place within myself when I really need it. The knowing of that anchor of peace within me has been such a gift. That gift and the returning to the focus on love was what enabled me to sleep that night.

Since then, I have also been focusing on my friend knowing the path to peace within herself and knowing that she is loved. I hope that she can feel both.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 50 Hey Lynda!

2011-12-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

You may wonder what some of the observations I share have to do with peace and love. For me, each song sung by a child or a bird or the light on a tree or in a person’s eyes, is a heart opening moment. They are reminders of how it feels to have my heart wide open and that is how I choose to live my life. I need reminders because sometimes I forget, after all I am human. There are things in this human existence which encourage us to keep our hearts closed, safe behind walls. I tore those walls down long ago, but there are still occasions when they try to reestablish themselves. Those moments of wonder or joy on my walks and throughout my day blow like a breeze through my heart and I remember the freedom and freshness of living with it wide open.

It is with a heart wide open that I can live from peace and love. I don’t succeed in every instance, because like I said I am human. However, each time I meet a heart opening moment my heart recognizes it and checks in with me. Most times we simply rejoice together in the wonder and joy of the moment. Other times it’s a wake up call saying, Lynda, are you paying attention?

It was an interesting road to get here, but so worth the journey of learning to trust that heart and its Hey Lyndas. I’m so grateful I listened.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 49 It Matters Where the Light Falls

2011-12-01T18:49:00.000-08:00

It matters how the light falls. There is a big difference between whether or not the light touches an object directly and whether it is lit by ambient light. The leaves that the light fell directly upon were visible in detail, in rich color, they appeared illuminated. The leaves that were lit only by the general light of morning were dull and appeared without detail.

It was a fascinating reflection to compare the effect of standing in full light or not. The tree (unless it’s an Ent) can’t move itself into the light. I can. I can choose to stand in the full light of day or linger in the half light or shadows. All are ok, but when I looked at the tree my eye was drawn to the detail and color of the leaves in the light. I knew the warmth they felt. They were radiant.

I choose to stand in full light, blinding though it may sometimes be. I choose to share my full colors. I choose to let the details of my heart be seen. And as I saw the tree do, I will radiate that light back into the world.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 47 Tao Te Ching Chapter 2

2011-11-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

We are working with the Tao Te Ching in the meditation group that I’m a part of. This was only our second night working with it. There was a passage that stood out to me in relation to peace. It is the end of the second chapter. This particular version is from the translation by John Wu.

He accomplishes his task, but does not dwell upon it. And yet it is just because he does not dwell on it that nobody can ever take it away from him.

When we were sitting in meditation after reading the chapter aloud, I found much peace in those thoughts because for me they were about release and non-attachment. You simply do what is yours to do and keep moving forward. You don’t dwell upon it.

How wonderfully peaceful. It is sometimes difficult to do, to not be attached to outcome, but there is also such peace in it. No worrying, no planning, just living the life you are creating. We are so trained to expect a result that when you don’t expect one you almost don’t recognize at first that sense of peace that comes with it.

Simply another step in the practice of peace I suppose, until I can become like the Sage in this same chapter and manage my affairs without ado.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 46 A Smile and a Song

2011-11-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

This morning I was walking along and I heard the voice of a little girl singing. I caught sight of her as I walked up a hill. She was maybe four or five and standing in her front yard singing with gusto. I was on the other side of the street but she saw me coming. She called out, “Here comes a lady.” I smiled to myself and as I got closer smiled to her. She was radiant, completely in her element standing there surveying the street and singing to the world.

As I got closer she smiled, waved a little shyly and said hi. I responded in kind. She asked me if I lived there. I pointed and said, “No, I live over there.” She looked where I pointed and said, “I can’t see it. Where?” I told her you couldn’t see if from where we were. We smiled at each other as she wondered where I lived that was so far away.

I continued on and she burst back into song. I couldn’t help but smile. Here was this bright, shiny light sharing her radiance with anyone who happened by, with the trees and the grass, the birds and the sun. How lucky we all were to hear her song today. Hers was a voice ringing with joy and confidence. She didn’t seem to have an intention for sharing her song, she didn’t sing louder or even keep singing as I walked by, so she wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She was simply completely in the moment singing and greeting a passerby. It was a joy to share a moment of greeting with her.

It’s amazing how much closer children can be to their joy, how much easier it is for them to be in the moment. They can teach us so much about observing and being. She certainly taught me about the gift of an innocent and heart felt smile and a song, both offered without hesitation. Thank you little light!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 45 Lesson in Love

2011-11-28T19:23:00.001-08:00

My children teach me a great deal about love. After we went to the screening of I Am last Friday my eleven year old was thinking about homeless people and how to help them. She struggled to find words for what she was feeling. I waited for her to find them. She said, “Well if you just walk right by someone who needs help it’s like you’re ignoring your sister or your brother and refusing to help them or to give them what they need.”

Now, as an adult I struggle with this issue. For a couple years I worked with the homeless population in Savannah. I have an idea of some of the things that contribute to homelessness and I have an idea of how difficult it is for people. I’ve never had to live it, so I can’t begin to truly know how it feels. I also know about the guy we helped out with some cash one time on the street in Savannah who had a hard luck story about being out of gas and stuck. We met him again a week or so later with the same story. When we called him on it he got angry at us as if it were our fault he had used the same story on the same people. So how do I reconcile her need to help her brothers and her sisters with what I know?

In the face of her earnest desire to give and to give from love, the choice is simple. I will give from love without judgment, for what is given in love is a gift that may work in ways I can’t begin to imagine. What we decided to do was give in a way that felt right to us. We bought a gift card to a grocery store. The next time we pass someone who we can’t just pass by, we will offer the card with love. Then we will buy another one knowing that love moves in mysterious ways.

What a blessing to have daughters who teach me so truly about love!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 43 I Am

2011-11-28T04:34:00.000-08:00

On Friday I went to see a screening of a film I love. It’s called I Am. It’s a documentary by the director Tom Shadyac. He made films like Ace Ventura Pet Detective, Bruce Almighty and Liar Liar. Very funny films! I Am is not a comedy though, it’s not fiction either. It’s about a journey that began from pain and desperation but ends up with inspiration!

I had the good fortune of seeing the film initially at a screening in Washington, DC that included a Q & A with Tom afterward. I was impressed with his answers to the questions. I was impressed with how he seemed to be trying to live what he believed.

What I like most about the film is that it is a testament to why I am doing this Pledge of Peace and Love. It confirms for me the power of living from the heart and the impact that has on the world we live in. It reminds me that each choice I make for love or peace is a choice made for all of us, a choice that impacts the whole (even the yogurt!). There is discussion of that impact from a scientific perspective that is fascinating. The power of love and compassion should not to be underestimated. We have the power to change our world for the better, one thought, one heart, one action at a time. The conclusion of the film is a powerful reminder of that.

The film will be released on DVD in the US on January 3, 2012. I would highly recommend it for your path of peace and love. It inspires me anew each time I see it. I’m grateful to Tom Shadyac for sharing his pain and sharing his heart. His journey illuminates us all.

You can find out more about the film at http://www.iamthedoc.com/.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 42 Thanks Giving

2011-11-28T04:32:00.001-08:00

Hmmm, with the holiday weekend I’m sadly behind in my blogging! I will try to catch up a bit.

My intention, as you might have guessed, was to blog about gratitude on Thanksgiving Day. I was apparently totally in the moment of living the gratitude and so didn’t stop to blog about it!

Gratitude has been on my mind this month in general though. I’ve witnessed friends posting on FB about it every day in November. It’s a topic of discussion on Thanksgiving in my family. My brother asked us to write ours down this year and put them in a bag. Then we each chose someone else’s to read so we would perhaps not feel so put on the spot about speaking our own gratitude. I’m not shy about expressing mine though. I have so much to be grateful for!

One of my favorite quotes is, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice,” by Meister Eckhart.

I believe that’s true. Thank you. My goal is to begin each day with those words, not just Thanksgiving Day. I don’t remember every morning but when I do I begin the day before getting out of bed with the thought, Thank you for this day. I follow it with the thought, Let me be a source of love (or peace) in the world today. For me those things naturally go together. If I am living from love and peace and making choices from that place then that state of gratitude comes naturally. It works the other way around too I think. If I’m consciously living in a state of gratitude then feelings of love and peace are a natural outflow of that state. I think either way it takes practice, like my practice of peace and love, but as you practice it gets easier, becomes more of a way of being rather than something you work at. I’m getting there one step at a time.

I’m grateful there are so many others walking with me along the path of peace and the path of love. I’m grateful for the lessons in my life that gently help me practice. I’m grateful for the amazing people in my life who make it so very easy to live from a place of love because they radiate love to me every day. I’m grateful for the teachers great and small who have taught me about living love and living peace. I’m grateful for the opportunity to live this life and see it from a place of gratitude which always leads me to feelings of joy, awe and wonder. I’m grateful to you for reading this and walking your own path of love and peace.

Thank you. Merci. Danke. Grazie. Gracias. Děkuji. Asante. Teşekkür ederim.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 40, Occupy Your Heart

2011-11-22T19:29:00.000-08:00

I didn’t see this one coming. It doesn’t surprise me though if I look at it practically. I made a pledge to live and write about peace and love. What could be more a more natural result than a pledge to live each moment from the heart? And so from my morning walk recently, Occupy Your Heart was born. I am grateful.

I pledge to occupy my heart! Join me! Feel free to share it – your heart and the statements below.

Occupy Your Heart

Occupy your heart is a movement, is a way of life dedicated to living from the heart, living always from a place of love. The place we must always begin is within our own heart. It is the greatest gift we can give the world, the only way we can truly create change for the better. We let our heart be our compass. We let our heart lead. We allow our mind to work freely for the heart’s purpose. In all this we know we are contributing to a beautiful world for all.

We look from within with love upon others and see the humanity, the heart within them, knowing we are all one family, knowing there is no separation between us, no artificial boundaries that can keep us from love other than the ones we create and build ourselves.

From a place of love we create a new world.

We create a world where every creature that shares this earth is honored, where the earth we live upon is revered and protected.

We create families that are defined by the love within them. Safe spaces to be the true expressions of love that we are, where that expression is accepted and welcomed.

We create governments that serve the people, all the people, with compassion and respect. We create these governments by serving on them, by voting and speaking our hearts, by participating. We create governments where all voices are heard and honored.

We create institutions and corporations that are built upon a foundation of love. We create prosperity and social consciousness at the same time. We create corporations that have the good of the whole at heart and still provide a product or service that is needed.

We create communities where love thy neighbor is the way of life. We create neighborhoods where all are safe and welcome, where all have a home. We create schools where children are honored and nurtured and where knowledge is shared with respect by both teachers and children.

We create a world of love where none doubt their own worth, their own contribution to the whole, where all feel safe and know they are loved.

We create this world by beginning with our own hearts, by creating from the love within ourselves and sharing it unconditionally.

Lynda Allen
November 18, 2011

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 39 Cleaning out the Pantry

2011-11-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

Practicing peace on days like today is a challenge. Nothing particularly bad happened, just a day with lots of little frustrations adding up to a big ball of frustration! That’s when I have to work the hardest to remember my peace. I have to consciously think about it each moment and remind myself to return to it, remind myself that I have a choice. I don’t always listen to the reminders right away though, but hopefully I get there eventually.

I’m not quite there yet even as I write this. However, just the act of writing it is a reminder and I can feel the peace returning. Mostly I can feel it returning because I’m thinking of that little baby earth and what it might be feeling if the ripples of my frustration reach it. Here’s the difficult part I always return to, surely if my ripples of peace contribute to nourishing the baby earth then conversely my ripples of frustration do not nourish it. It’s kind of like feeding the baby junk food. It can only grow in an unhealthy way from a diet of junk, just as I can only grow in an unhealthy way from a diet of junk.

I guess I will have to take a moment and let go of some of the old stories that are playing in my head and release the old fears that come with them. Sometimes I guess you really do just have to walk right into the pantry with the trash can and just start throwing things out. It’s the only way to make room for the new, healthy items you really want. If I let them linger there in the dark on the back of the shelf they will only be a source of temptation to relive that old pattern. I will have to be more thorough this time in looking in the dark corners and cleaning things out.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 36, Love Thy Neighbor

2011-11-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

My blogging begins early today. Earlier this week a prominent member of our community passed away. He was a developer, a business man, and a philanthropist. To me he was one thing more, a neighbor.

Did I know him as a neighbor as far as going to cookouts together, or waiting at the bus stop with our kids? No. But by being his neighbor I learned a wonderful lesson about love and an important one about judgment.

I am ashamed to admit this next part, but I will because it’s an important part of the learning. When I first moved into this home 14 years ago I was still at the end of my righteous indignation phase. I was pretty good at it. And here I was living down the street from a developer that it seemed owned everything in town and who was responsible for Central Park and that horrendous eyesore the Central Park sign that blots out the sun. How could the word park be used for it when there used to be farm land there (and a golf course) and now there were parking lots and big box stores galore? Surely I had much fodder for my indignation! This is the part I’m not so proud of, I even thought of him as the Onceler from Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax.

It took a long time for that attitude to shift in me. First, I became less righteous and more neutral. But it wasn’t until the last couple years that I actually began to see him as a neighbor. I walk by his home a lot in the mornings so I found he came into my mind frequently. As my morning walks became a form of meditation for me I began noticing how I walked past his home, what thoughts I was holding in mind as I did. I began thinking of him as a man, with a family and a heart. I began thinking of him as someone who was doing the best he could, just like the rest of us. I began remembering that we are not separate, that the separation had been in my own thoughts, in my own heart. It didn’t mean I had to agree with every choice he ever made, but it meant that I had to remember to begin from love no matter whether I agreed or not. I had to remember that I had no way of knowing what was in his heart as he made his choices. I could only know what was in my own heart as I made new ones in relation to him.

And so I did make new choices. I chose to radiate love every time I walked past his home. I surrounded it with that love as I walked by. It felt wonderful! I didn’t have to carry indignation with me on my walks and in my world. It only weighed me down. It was so much more joyful to carry love and let it flow freely from me, and that’s what I did every time I walked past his house.

It never occurred to me to wonder whether or not he really felt it, it just felt so good to give it. Then on Monday morning as I was walking past the house I felt this sense, this thought that reached me and said, Thank you, I do appreciate the love. It made me smile and I nodded toward the house and said, I’m glad.

A couple days later I heard that he had passed away. I stopped when I heard the news and wondered if he really had said thank you the other day, if maybe he had been in a state of grace at that moment and could genuinely feel the love I was sending. I’m glad to think our relationship ended with love. Rest in Peace Mr. Silver, thank you for the powerful lesson in love thy neighbor.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 35, Yes!

2011-11-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

I have found that one of the most peaceful choices I can make on this journey is willingness, simply saying yes. So much has shifted in my life by the use of that one word. Trust me, there are times when I have said it reluctantly and times when I have said it through gritted teeth with a great deal of resistance, my eyes rolling at the heavens (just ask Christine!). Yet, always I have said it, and meant it on some level. I have been willing to shift, to learn, even when I didn’t know what the lesson would entail. Sometimes it’s been easy and joyful and other times a bit more challenging to say the least. But I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today if I had said no.

One of the surprises I found was how much peace there was in saying yes. It takes a great deal more energy to resist through no. There is release in yes. There is work too, but the work begins from a place of (mostly) surrender. Even the times when my jaw was set and my hands were on my hips, the yes came from a part of me that knew better, that knew the peace in yes.

Yes, to things that will feed and free my soul, yes to things that honor the self, yes to learning (gently please!), yes to expanding my awareness, yes to living the life I know I want to live even if I don’t know how to get there. It turns out that how to get there always begins with yes. After all it’s got to be more difficult to see the path in front of me if my arms are folded across my chest and my eyes are stubbornly closed with my no. Yes, opens my eyes and peacefully opens my way.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 34, Nature's Symphony

2011-11-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

My internet connection crashed yesterday so I can only plead for understanding in missing yesterday’s post! I know what I was going to write about though; the rain.

Yesterday morning I went for a walk in the rain. I love walking in the rain, especially a warm rain. It wasn’t exactly warm, but it was lovely. Nature is such an incredible resource of peace and joy that I can find a way to tap into every day if I only look around me. For example, the other day I was feeling nervous about something I had to do and not much seemed to calm me down. As I was setting off to drive to my destination I happened to look up and above me an eagle was flying. I immediately remembered that I wasn’t flying alone and returned to a place of peace. It was an amazing gift.

The gift of nature yesterday was the rain. It being fall, there were many leaves on the ground. The rain fell, tap, tap, tap upon the fallen leaves. I started to notice a rhythm. I found that the sound changed based on the type of leaves I was walking over. Some had a harder, crisper sound and some made a much gentler tap, tap, tap.

I smiled to myself the whole way as I listened to the morning’s concerto. As I neared the end of my walk the percussion section was in full swing and I passed a bush full of singing birds at the same time. What an amazing harmony they created! I felt so honored to be the recipient of their beautiful music. It was a most peaceful way to begin my day, by walking through nature’s symphony.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 33

2011-11-15T19:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight in our meditation group we worked with the mantra Ong SoHung. It translates as Ong - The Creative Consciousness of the Universe, SoHung - I am that / I am Thou. We used a recording of it by Guru Singh. In and of itself it is beautiful. But there was beauty beyond that as well.

It was such a joyful experience listening to the recording, chanting along with it and hearing the voices of the group all at the same time. Part of the mantra is said to open the heart. It certainly does that!

I haven’t adequate words for the blissful feeling it left me with or the feeling of the energy of creation that seemed to fill the room. I can express my gratitude though. I’m grateful for the love that guides our meditation group always to a place of peace and light. I’m grateful for the shared experience of the group that always provides insight. I’m grateful for the peace it brings into my life and into my home each week. I’m grateful for the individuals who show up each week in person and in Spirit. I’m grateful for an open heart that is willing to lose itself in the bliss of the moment. For it is in that bliss I find the creative consciousness of the Universe, and find that indeed, I am that!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 32

2011-11-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

On my walk this morning I noticed a flower, a beautiful white flower, sticking out from under a fence. I smiled at its beauty and was grateful that I had looked down at that moment to witness its beauty. After I was passed the flower I wondered if anyone else would notice its light before it finished its life cycle. I was grateful to have been able to be there to witness it. I’m sure the flower would have bloomed as brightly, as grandly, had it been alone on a rocky slope because that is just what it does. Yet, still I wondered if sharing it’s beauty made it shine a little brighter, just as it had brightened my walk.

Then I began to wonder if that is the greatest gift we can give; being witness to each other’s beauty. Surely each of us has beauty within us whether it’s hidden carefully behind walls of hurt and pain, long since forgotten along with innocence, simply veiled behind a difficult day, or shining radiantly forth in the wilderness. What if just one person looked at the troubled child and saw his or her beauty? What if one person when passing a homeless person on the street looked past the label and saw the light? What if I saw the beauty in you and allowed you a glimpse of it reflected back in my smile?

The lesson of love I learned is that there is a gift to both the source of and the witness of beauty. The witness carries ever the touch of that beauty upon the heart and in the memory and the source carries forth the joy of having been seen.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 31

2011-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of seeing the play Rent today at the University of Mary Washington. They did a fabulous job. I had never seen it before and was moved to hear so many messages of love in it. There was reminder after reminder to live and love life to the fullest in each moment.

It also reminded me how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life. I spent last weekend with my three sisters for our annual Sisters’ Weekend. It’s a weekend I look forward to every year because it is a joy to share time with my sisters. We have continued the tradition for 12 years and spend most of our weekends together laughing. Spending that weekend with them also made me think about all the wonderful women in my life and what a blessing they each are.

I have a wonderful friend in my life whom I refer to as my Heartmate - it was the only word that adequately described our friendship, connection and love for each other. We have walked beside each other for the last 11 years. We have been through major life transitions together and have shared our joys and sorrows. She has helped me remember that I can fly when I have forgotten. I even wrote a poem for her called Leaping. She has held my hand and my heart every step of journey. She is a blessing beyond measure and it is a joy to know her. I treasure each moment we spend together.

There are many blessings in my life in the form of friends, who each provide light, love, wisdom, joy, commiseration, a shoulder to cry on and inspiration. They are each a source of love in my life and I am deeply grateful.

To all my friends who provide wonderful opportunities for love to be shared, thank you. It is a joy to practice a path of peace and love with you.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 29

2011-11-11T20:13:00.000-08:00

I received a wonderful gift of love this evening. Someone dear to me simply held the space of peace and love for me while I wasn’t in that space myself. It had been quite a hectic afternoon and evening and I was running very late for a dinner party. I was bringing a dish that needed to be prepared and cooked and I didn’t arrive until after the appointed time, so I knew I would be delaying dinner for everyone, and I wasn’t even dressed for the dinner yet! I was not in a happy mood when I arrived.

The fabulous man in my life could see and feel very clearly where I was and luckily he was in a more peaceful state of being. He hugged me even though I couldn’t really receive it, looked me in the eye and told me he loved me. Then he went about the other things he had to do very peacefully. I don’t know if he knew it but I could feel that peace radiating from him. Slowly I was able to let myself feel it more deeply and eventually was able to allow myself to align with it. I don’t know that he did it intentionally, but on some level I know he knew it was what I needed; just to be able to feel a reminder of peace.

We really can help each other along our paths of peace. Of course there will be times when we aren’t feeling peaceful, and while we can hopefully center ourselves again, it is wonderful to have someone who can be that beacon of peace to help guide us back to a safe and calm harbor.

Sight to See now available!!

2011-11-11T05:35:00.000-08:00

This is in a way a post for the Pledge of Peace and Love because this novel was a work of love for me.

In celebration of 11/11/11 I am happy to announce that I published my novel Sight to See through Amazon.com for the Kindle!!! It's available here. If you don't have a Kindle, not to worry, you can get the Kindle software for free to read books on your computer here.

It is such a joy for me to finally be able to share this story. It was an amazing adventure writing it...

Years ago for the second year of the Project Greenlight competition I wrote a screenplay called "The Badianus Manuscript" and submitted it. The script made it into the top 250. Some of the feedback I received was that it would make a good novel. So foolishly I thought ok, I can do that. And I did.

Writing the novel was a wonderful process. It was like taking dictation as Dawn came and sat with me and told me her story. It was quite a journey, filled with incredible coincidences - including the hurricane in the story being name Hurricane Juan and there being a Hurricane Juan that year! It came to a beautiful conclusion with a trip to the Hopi reservation in Arizona to visit a woman there who had been willing to read the story for me for authenticity. At the reservation I found a church without walls just as I had written about in the story, though I had seen it in my mind I had no idea there was actually one on the reservation!

Here's the synopsis of Sight to See: Dawn Saunders, a young woman of Hopi ancestry, is on a spiritual quest to discover the true meaning of her gift as a seer. Dawn’s journey begins at a tender age. In a dream when she was eight she saw her father struck by lightning only to see the image come vividly to life soon after. Consequently, Dawn considered her sight to be more of a curse than a gift. By the age of thirty, Dawn’s gift urgently demands her attention through a series of dreams and waking visions. Drawn by the power and spiritual nature of the visions, Dawn sets out upon a journey that will teach her to trust herself and her ability to see. In her dreams and visions she is visited by an ancient Aztec woman and an eagle who reveal to Dawn both the past and the future. The dreams and visions lead Dawn to her Aunt Meredith, also a seer, in New York City and eventually to a connection with a grandmother Dawn never met, whom she inherited her gift from. She also encounters Juan, a 450-year-old Aztec man who is strangely familiar to Dawn, and Juan the category 4 hurricane. Dawn must choose between believing in herself and her ability to see, and questioning her own sanity. Overcoming her doubts comes at a high price, as it takes standing in the eye of the storm to alter Dawn’s sight and enable her to see clearly.

There are so many that believed in this story along the way and who have read it for me and encouraged me. Thank you!

If you read it and enjoy it share it with friends or post a review! Enjoy in joy! Lynda

*cover photo for Sight to See was taken from the Hubble telescope by STScI for NASA under Contract NAS5-26555.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 28

2011-11-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

Today I had to practice peace quite actively. I was not feeling peaceful about the situation at Penn State. I’m sorry to see such an illustrious career end this way, but as I’ve been writing about throughout this pledge, we all make choices. A variety of people at Penn State made choices in relation to this incident, and as far as I can tell very few of those choices took into account a young boy who had been violently attacked. That left me feeling decidedly unpeaceful.

In fact it left me feeling quite disturbed as I heard and read more. Normally I don’t delve deeply into stories like this because I don’t find it constructive. This one though caught my attention. A university of Penn State’s stature treating a crime against a child with such little care for the child is unacceptable, unbelievable. Each person will have to live with the choices they made along the way, including Joe Paterno. Yet how does that compare to a child who didn’t have a choice?

In my less than peaceful state I wondered how differently everyone would have acted in the situation had the victim been the child of someone they knew. Where were the people who know they are all our children?

It was a sad day and yet I was glad to hear many voices of reason amid the din. Voices that said yes, he was a wonderful coach and yes maybe he wasn’t personally responsible, but didn’t he think about that child afterward and wonder why nothing was done? Integrity as a football coach isn’t the same as integrity as a human being. The well being of a football program isn’t more important than the well being of a child.

If there is any peace to be found in this for me it is in the hope that no other children will be harmed now that it has been brought to light, and that we may all be reminded through this sad situation that each choice we make is important and touches the lives of others.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 27

2011-11-10T19:21:00.001-08:00

Here’s the thing I’ve been reminded of again and again through this pledge and over the past ten years, the big picture is the little picture. What I mean by that is that the only way I can help change the big picture or make the world a better place, is to live it in my own life. I can’t shift the world but I can shift my world, I can make my choices choices for love and peace.

It was relevant this week because I was thinking about 11/11/11 and wow, shouldn’t I be at some big event on such a momentous date? The answer I found is that I should be with those I love. Love and peace here and now is the important thing on any date.

It was a loud message and I somehow just started seeing the big picture differently. Even the big names of the day talking about change and shift can’t change the world single handedly. They provide information and inspiration for people and then those people can take that back into their world and create their own shift. They can’t shift it for you, just like nobody can shift it for me but me.

However, I do believe that your choice for love makes it that much easier for me to choose love too. The more love there is, the more we can feel it and the more we feel it the easier it is to be in that place of love. Which brings me back around full circle to the big picture is the little picture.

Thank you for each choice you have made from love in your picture that brought love more into focus in my own.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 26

2011-11-09T03:40:00.001-08:00

A choice for Love that I made yesterday was in relation to the meditation group that I host. As I wrote about last week I had a wonderful hallelujah experience and so went searching for a mantra to use during our meditation group that might reflect a little of the joy I felt that morning. I searched for one that incorporated hallelujah. I wasn’t sure what I would find or if I would find anything that would work. I was pleasantly surprised.

There is a recording called The Five Religions Chant, which goes like this:
Jehovah Jehovah,
Hallelujah Hallelujah
La il il la, la il la
Ra ay ma Rama
Saaat Naaam.

I was so excited to find it, not just because it incorporated hallelujah, but because it felt like the intent of it was the same as I felt that morning last week – all voices raised in joy using their own words for their gratitude and rejoicing. I was filled with love when I found it.

I did go through some moments of hesitation though about us using other people’s words for God in our meditation. I was cautious to not tread on anyone’s sacred traditions. After some thought and discussion about it I decided that if I returned to my original intention of love then it would be fine to use. I think that was the intent of the creator of the song as well. So it was with love that I sang the words to the Five Religion Chant. It didn’t transport me quite as much as my hallelujah day, but I believe each choice for love helps bring us all that much closer to that day when all seven billion of us raise our voices as one. Hallelujah!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 25

2011-11-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

The peace that I felt today was through beauty. It was also a reminder of a practical lesson about practicing peace learned years ago.

I turned a corner this morning and raised my eyes. Ahead of me was the steeple of a church shrouded in fog. Above the trees to the right of the steeple the sun was breaking through the fog with gentle rays of orange light. It was a gorgeous sight.

I had an interesting experience years ago with fog. I was driving along the Skyline Drive hoping for a beautiful view. Instead I saw ahead of me a cloud that had settled on the road.

The thing was that from the peak I was on I could also see the end of the cloud and the road in the light of the sun beyond that. Because of that preview, I reached the fog bank with the knowing that there was an end to it. I knew that all I had to do was keep my eyes on the road ahead of me and keep moving and I would get through the fog and return to the light. I also remembered that when moving through fog it doesn’t help to turn the light up brighter in order to chase it away; it would only serve to hinder my sight rather than help it. The best thing I could do was to continue to move gently, purposefully and peacefully through the fog with my eyes straight ahead and with the knowing of the return of the light as my guide.

Ever since that day I’ve always enjoyed fog. If my focus isn’t entirely on dispelling it, there is a beautiful stillness to fog. And as it lifts there is the incredible returning of the light if I will only raise my eyes to see it.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 24

2011-11-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

OK, here’s where I get to be peaceful towards myself! I am giving myself permission to not have to catch up on the days I missed blogging while I was on my annual pilgrimage with my sisters! We get together for a sisters weekend every year and my focus was on them and enjoying our time together, not worrying about the blog. Therefore I granted myself special dispensation.

That doesn’t mean, however, that I didn’t learn something about practicing love and peace this weekend though. In fact, I learned a very important lesson – the more you practice the more opportunities you receive for practicing!

I had a completely unexpected opportunity to practice living from love while walking through the Atlanta airport. I was walking between gates and had two hours before my next flight. A young man in a Delta t-shirt stopped me and asked me when my next flight was. I told him the truth. At first I thought it was a survey of some sort. He started to talk about a free flight and sky miles I would receive and I looked up and saw behind him a sign about a credit card and realized what it was about. I wasn’t in a rush and he was polite and friendly so I didn’t try to escape but just stayed open and friendly in return. I’m really glad I did.

Right in the middle of what he was saying he looked down at my hand and said something about a tattoo. I realized where he was looking and was amazed he could have seen anything. I have a tattoo on my wrist but I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and a long sleeve jacket over it. I swear he would have needed x-ray vision to see it. Or perhaps he was just seeing with different eyes. So I pulled up my sleeve and showed it to him and he asked me what it meant. It is three infinity symbols with Chinese characters inside one of the infinities. I pointed to the characters and said it meant eternal grace in Chinese. I never know what kind of reaction I will get when I tell people what it means and I certainly didn’t expect the reaction I got from him.

He asked me about Grace and what it meant to me. I looked at him and he looked and sounded sincere so I began to tell him about why I tattooed eternal grace on my arm. I told him I had never found a definition of Grace that made sense to me. I told him I didn’t believe that God would grant Grace to one person and yet withhold it from another. I told him I started writing about Grace so I could better understand it. So he asked me what Grace meant to me now. I explained that for me it was about an awareness of a connection to the Divine within my heart and in the knowing of that connection allowing it to flow. I told him I think we all have access to Grace each moment but we build walls that block the flow of it. He looked at me and said, "Yes, we definitely all build walls."

I kept looking at him as we talked and feeling like there was this light shining on us right there in the middle of the Atlanta airport, like this opening of Grace had happened and it was so beautiful.

I told him writing about Grace led me to start an annual event called A Day of Grace. He asked me what we do at A Day of Grace. I told him we practice ways to take those walls down and allow Grace to flow. He asked me where I hold this event and looked a little disappointed to find it was in Virginia. I invited him to check out the website for A Day of Grace and read more about it there. I even told him that there is an email link on the site, so that after he read it he could write to me and let me know what he thought. It was a beautiful conversation and connection.

After we had talked about it for a while he looked at me and said, “I think I’ve received more from you than what I have to offer (referring to the credit card pitch) so forget about it.”

I was so deeply moved and truly hope he visits the site and writes to me. He asked for the address again before I left but I didn’t write it down for him. I will see if he follows up. It would be lovely if he does.

The whole conversation though was such a gift. I had recently been thinking about this year’s A Day of Grace, which will be happening on December 21st and here was this wonderful, unlooked for opportunity to talk about it and put the energy of it in motion.

If I had not been walking through that airport having been practicing love and peace so consciously I’m not sure I would have stopped to talk to him and taken the opportunity for a heart connection like that. What a gift I would have missed! But I didn’t miss it and I’m grateful that I have been practicing so that I could have the joy of meeting him and sharing a moment of Grace with him.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 20

2011-11-02T05:21:00.001-07:00

It was just a typo, right? Wrong. It was a statement of truth that I didn’t realize I was making. I posted on my Facebook page today a link to the song Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. I love his rendition of that song. There is such restrained power in it and even though it’s not exactly a happy song it makes my heart soar to hear him sing it. With the post I said, “I just seemed like an Hallelujah kind of morning.” Of course I meant to say “it” just seemed like, not “I”. Then I thought again. Actually I do feel like a Hallelujah this morning.

As I set out on my walk I wondered why that was. Then I remembered writing my blog last night. It was after 11:00 when I posted it and I was pretty tired. I put it out there and for a moment thought, “Why am I doing this?” Then I remembered that the reason I began the Pledge of Peace and Love was to help nourish the new baby earth I feel has been born and that I carry in my heart. When I remembered that, my heart glowed and my tiredness didn’t matter.

When I thought of that moment this morning in my hallelujah state, I smiled and joy again radiated from me. I’m doing this for that baby earth and the now 7 billion people living upon this planet. Seven billion people. I absolutely glowed with joy as I thought of those 7 billion all raising their voices in an hallelujah (or whatever word of gratitude they use) at the same moment. Think of it, 7 billion voices singing gratitude, 7 billion hearts open wide, 7 billion souls united in joy. Wow! The feeling of that made me actually laugh as I walked. I figured anyone who saw me walking would have thought I had gone off the deep end so great was my joy.

I will let that vision of joy sustain me and yet will live here in this moment in peace and love. I think that is the only way we can create that future, is by living it here, now.

Loudly and clearly my soul answered my own question: that is why I’m doing this, that is why I’m doing my best to let peace and love guide me each day. For the 7 billion and for the One.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 19

2011-11-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Peace is just one breath away. That is what I remind myself of some days, days like today in fact. And when I remember to listen it’s invaluable.

Ironically Tuesdays seem to be my least peaceful days at the moment. The irony is due to the fact that on Tuesday nights I host a meditation group. With juggling two jobs, one daughter’s after school cheer class, the other’s various activities, blogging, life as a single mom, etc. I find there isn’t too much time on Tuesdays for cleaning up and preparing both physically and mentally for meditation group anymore. That has left me feeling less than peaceful on some Tuesdays over the past month or so. Being a firm believer in intention I have found it perplexing, because how can I set a space with peace if I’m not feeling peaceful? Thankfully, it seems that I have so far always found that place before the group begins, but why create that way to begin with was what I was asking myself.

Today was one of those days when I was feeling less than peaceful as the afternoon came to a close, in fact I was feeling quite overwhelmed. After some time of fretting and rubbing my face over and over as if I could wipe the stress away, I finally remembered to breathe. I had a rant going in my head but some small part of me remembered that there was another option. I’m so grateful to that small voice. I paused and took a breath. One simple breath shifted it.

It gave me the opportunity to take even a tiny step backward and look at it differently. Perhaps I could find a way to make things work better, more smoothly, less hectic. I do have two children who are perfectly capable of helping with things around the house. I could do the cleaning over two days instead of one so I wouldn’t feel so rushed. There were several things I could think of that might lessen the stress. The most important was just to remember to breathe. Probably my friends who join me on Tuesdays might not mind a stray cat hair or two around the house anyway. After all they are practitioners of peace too.

Next week we will see if I can practice peace for myself and create differently. I will try beginning with a breath and see what amazing things happen from there.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 18

2011-11-01T04:49:00.000-07:00

I had a very practical practice of peace yesterday and yet it was a wonderful reminder how returning to peace can shift a situation. I had a dentist appointment. I’m not afraid of the dentist and the cleanings don’t bother me too much. It’s not my favorite thing to do but I do it dutifully.

This visit the hygienist used a different instrument. Usually they use the little pick to work at the plaque or whatever it is they scrape off your teeth. This time she used a motorized one that made that lovely sound the drill makes and of course creates a vibration when touching your teeth. It wasn’t necessarily more uncomfortable than the regular way I was used too, just different and equally uncomfortable!

As she was working I noticed my body. My hands, which had been folded gently over my stomach, were now holding on to each other for dear life and my whole body was tense as I resisted the sensations. I closed my eyes and thought; well I might as well practice! I focused on that anchor of peace within myself and knowing that it is always there. I let my body relax and centered myself in that peace. Soon I found that I could even focus peace on her fingers as they worked, knowing that sharing that peace could help us both. Of course, I had to return to that center of peace more than once but it was amazing how different the cleaning was when I was in that peace. The experience of pain shifted. I don’t know if she simply didn’t touch my gums during that time or if my perception of the pain shifted, but it no longer hurt at all. I’m not saying I would want to go through surgery without anesthesia or anything, but it was definitely a different experience when I was sitting there in a state of peace.

Practicing peace can be very practical.

There was another interesting moment before the session. We were talking about chocolate because after all it was Halloween. She explained that chocolate is not actually bad for your teeth because of the fat content, which apparently lessens the possibility of it creating tooth decay. She really never should have told me that! However, that wasn’t the interesting part. At one point in relation to the chocolate she said, “I don’t think anything God made can be bad.” That got my attention. In response I said, “I wish people would consider that in relation to people. They may not always make good choices but that doesn’t make them bad.” She paused and agreed. It was a moment that gave us both something to think about.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 17

2011-10-30T19:59:00.000-07:00

This afternoon my daughters and I went to the pumpkin patch. We go to the same place every year. We love it. There are horses, cows, alpacas, and swings, hay to climb on, a zip line and of course pumpkins. It was a gorgeous day, warm and sunny with a beautiful blue sky. It was a gift. Knowing that it was a gift in the moment of it came from practicing peace and love.

Our lives get so busy sometimes that I know I am not always fully present with them. This afternoon was just about us being together and having a good time. It was an absolute joy to be there focused on each other and the gorgeous day. They chased each other around on the hay bales. We pushed each other on the swings and zip line. We laughed and found perfectly imperfect pumpkins. It was so nice to gift each other the present of presence.

They are a joy in my life and I’m glad to be walking a path that reminds me to honor the moments we have together and to at least notice when I’m not being completely present, so that I can work towards a life more mindful of each moment. Today the moments were golden and I’m filled with gratitude.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 16

2011-10-30T19:56:00.001-07:00

I’m a little behind on the blog! Weekends it seems are more difficult to keep up with. I would think it would actually be easier on the weekend with more free time but it turns out free time is hard to come by!

I don’t want to skip yesterday though. I had the opportunity yesterday to listen to an interview with two friends on an internet radio station. The interview was about providing caregiving for their Mother and their son, but really their story is about amazing lessons in love, love of family and love of self.

They taught me so much in one hour. I was so grateful to them for sharing their wisdom and their hearts. Not only did they learn a great deal about the process of caregiving but also about themselves. They shared from a genuine desire to help others through their own lessons learned. I am not in a position of having to be a caregiver in the way that they were and are, yet there was much for me to learn from their experiences.

They spoke about navigating the health care system, which while sometimes challenging, they proved can still be handled with grace. They didn’t seem to let obstacles stop them; they simply saw them as challenges to be overcome, not as dead ends. They didn’t see people in the system as enemies but as allies, who if they could find the right questions to ask, would help them achieve their goals. They didn’t see conversations with family about caregiving as conflict; they saw it as opportunities for the family to have open communication so that they would all understand each other, rather than make assumptions about where the others were in their thinking. They loved and honored themselves enough to know that they had to express the limits they knew they had, in order to be present and not drained for the caregiving they wanted to be able to provide. And inspiringly they were able to move through the life changing accident their son was involved in that left him in a wheelchair, with hope and positivity and come through it seeing good that came from the process. I’m certain there were dark moments and days but that is not where they chose to dwell.

They are an incredible example to me of living from peace and love. I’m grateful to know them and to have their example as an inspiration. Thank you Kit and Randy.

If you would like to listen to their interview it is at http://archives.zeusradio.com/here-women-talk/rivers-of-faith-donna-tyson/rivers-of-faith-10-18-2011/ .

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 15

2011-10-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, and all this week really, I got to be witness to incredible acts of love. Not far from where I live in Virginia, an eight year old autistic boy was lost in the woods last Sunday while on a hike with his father. They searched all of Sunday and into the night with heat sensing equipment but didn’t find him. The police put out a call for volunteers. Over the course of the week thousands of people from all over showed up to volunteer. The terrain in the park was heavy with underbrush and briars, marshy areas and rocky cliffs. There was also a river in one area of the park. People were warned by the search coordinators that this was not easy work because of the terrain. The warnings did not deter them as people showed up in groups or on their own to help find this little boy. They showed up every day by the hundreds even over a thousand to the point where they had to turn volunteers away.

Friday was a day that I could offer my help. My daughters had appointments at 7:00 a.m. but when they were finished and dropped at school by around 8:15 a.m. I was ready to head out of town to try to arrive by the 9:00 a.m. time they had set for volunteers. I knew someone involved with the search and he had suggested that I call him before I left town to check in. I called him as I was driving out of town. It was a little before 8:30 and he told me they already had over 1000 people waiting in line to volunteer! While I had a moment of disappointment at not being able to do something constructive myself, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love that had been offered all week for this little boy and his family. It was absolutely beautiful and an incredible testament to the power of love.

At around 2:00 p.m. they found him alive and well about a mile from where he had been lost. He was taken to a hospital and reunited with his family. Though with the display of love shown to him this week I think his family is much larger than he might have thought. I’m grateful to be part of that family and am inspired by such love! Clearly you don’t have to search far to find immense love in the world.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 14

2011-10-27T20:04:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I think the best choice for peace is silence. Twice over the past week I could have chosen to react to something in a moment when it would indeed have been reacting. Or I could have chosen to be still and silent with the issue and respond at another time rather than react. It wasn’t avoiding what had come up, simply choosing to wait until I could respond from a place of peace. I’m happy to say that I chose peace over my Italian reaction nature! In both situations it was clearly the right choice.

That’s a significant part of the path of peace for me, those moments of choice and recognizing them in the midst of them rather than afterward. This pledge has truly made me so much more aware of my choices on a moment by moment basis. Occasionally it’s annoying! I would love to just react in a good old human sort of way. But it seems that the good old human way is shifting to a new way and I want to be part of that shift. So, I will gratefully continue this pledge and celebrate the awareness it has brought me. Making the conscious choice for peace feels wonderful and hopefully the more I practice the more it will become a choice I don’t have to be so conscious of, because it will be my natural way of being, the new way.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 13

2011-10-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had an experience that was less than peaceful. I was in the parking lot of a store and a woman was walking out with a small girl who was maybe 2 or 3 years old. The child was crying loudly and the mom was clearly frustrated. First of all, they had just come out of a costume store that has many scary displays in it, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she had been frightened by something in the store. For a small person like that, the large displays of monsters and blood covered babies would be frightening I’m sure. Obviously I know nothing about the Mom or how her day was or what her life is like. I do know she had the girl by the wrist and was dragging her along. She leaned down and said something like, “Stop crying or I’m going to smack you in the mouth.” I don’t remember if the word was smack or not it was something forceful like that, not slap, but I do remember that she threatened to hit her in the face. This of course did not stop the child from crying. So she leaned down again and said, “Do you want me to smack you in the mouth?” If it hadn’t been so sad it would have almost been comical. What kind of question is that? Who on earth would say yes to that question?! But it was too sad to be comical. Now trust me, as a parent I understand frustration and your children pushing you to the edge of your patience. We have all been there as parents. But her threat to hit the child in the face carried a violence with it that I could feel from 20 feet away. Our words carry energy of their own. As I heard someone say recently our words are create-tive. We create with them. I didn’t want to imagine what was being created for that little girl. My hope is that it was just a moment of frustration rather than and action waiting to happen.

The other difficult part of it was that I honestly didn’t know what to do. I wanted to intervene in some way but I feared that if I spoke to her I could make things worse for the girl. I didn’t even think particularly peaceful thoughts in the moment since I was worried about the child. How do I bring peace to a moment like that? I certainly don’t feel like I did tonight. I’m not sure what the right thing would have been to do. I wish I had thought of something brilliant in that moment to diffuse the situation. I think the best I can do at this point is to continue to send love to the little girl and should I come across a situation like that again, remember to stay in my own peace so that I can, at the very least, radiate it to them both.

And as I’m reading back through this I can see and feel the judgment I had toward the mother. Like I said I know nothing about her life – not that it would excuse hurting a child, but surely they both are deserving of peace. Maybe it is she who needs it most of all and yet in my judgment I’m sure I would have offered it to the child before the mother. Maybe if someone had offered her a little peace and understanding somewhere along the way she wouldn’t have been in the emotional state she was in to start with. I guess offering peace to all every moment may have an impact I can’t even imagine. Yet another reason to keep practicing. Clearly I’m still learning.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 12

2011-10-25T16:14:00.001-07:00

Today began with a small act of both peace and love. The reminder to begin it that way came a year or two ago. I think it was summertime when a praying mantis came to visit. It sat on the screen door of my house for a couple days. It stayed long enough for me to start to think that maybe it had some wisdom it wanted to share. I decided to sit in meditation near it and listen to see what it had to say. It turned out it had a lot to say.

Here is what the praying mantis shared as I sat quietly:
Prayer. Be in a constant state of prayerfulness. Be always with an open heart, and words are not necessary for prayer. Prayer is a state of being more than a combination of words spoken. It is the flow of love from the heart returning to its Source. Be always praying, not with words but with deeds, with actions, always moving from the stillness of love within. Then you are moving in prayerfulness. Pray unto love. Pray without ceasing. Be prayer, be communion with Spirit. Let each look, each word, each action be your prayer. Prayer is a joyful state of being, for prayer celebrates the connection within to the Source. Be a living prayer.

Besides these words, what I carried with me from that day was the idea of beginning each day prayerfully, in full awareness of Spirit. I try to remember that each day before I get out of bed. I don’t always succeed. Today I remembered and it was a beautiful way to begin the day, centering myself in the silence of peace and love.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 11

2011-10-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

Today I took an opportunity to share an idea I thought might help contribute to peace. I was listening to NPR while I was working. The Kojo Nnamdi show was on WAMU. They were talking with author and professor, Peter T. Coleman, about Cracking Intractable Conflicts.

I posted a note on their website with an idea that had occurred to me while working in documentary filmmaking years ago. I wondered what would happen if you recorded people during peace negotiations (forget for a minute the obvious confidentiality concerns) and then each night after the negotiations they had to watch footage of themselves during the negotiations. I wondered what impact it would have on people to be able to see and hear themselves from another perspective, perhaps through the eyes and ears of someone else at the table. They might be able to see where they appear angry or appear to be inflexible through their body language, when that was not truly what they meant to communicate. They might be able to hear where their voice sounded aggressive or hostile. It might just help them all to see things a little differently. What if that could help in the peace process?

I didn’t know if they would actually address the question, but they did. The guest seemed to like the idea and thought that it was creative. Whether anyone will actually try the idea or not isn’t important as much as the intention to contribute to a more peaceful world by sharing the idea. That intention was felt by however many listeners there were at that moment for Kojo’s show and felt by those who listen to it online at some future date. You just never know who your ripples of peace might touch or if they will touch anyone at all, but it’s always worth making a little splash. Maybe then our combined intentions will create a great wave of Peace.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 10

2011-10-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

I think my greatest act of love today was a small gift of love I gave my older daughter. She had been away for the weekend at a teen retreat through our church. She loves this trip. Teens from all over the region get together for a weekend and communicate from their hearts and are surrounded in love and peace. They participate in outdoor activities, do a talent show and have heart to heart discussions in groups. She always comes home glowing.

Then the post rally low hits. She’s a teenager, so that could be very dramatic, not to mention that she was tired from the weekend. She was feeling low knowing that she would go to school the next day and not be surrounded by all that love, all that acceptance. I can see how that transition could be difficult. I empathized but also gave her a slightly different way to look at it.

We talked about intention. I told her that I have found intention to be a powerful thing. She had a choice, she could continue to focus on the feeling of the low and missing the warmth of rally and that would be ok. However, we also talked about the idea of changing her intention from the inevitability of the low to one of taking all the love she is feeling and bringing it with her to school tomorrow. Now, she doesn’t have to approach it the same way they did this weekend and go around hugging everyone in the hallways, but she could bring that love with her and simply be that love tomorrow at school. That love doesn’t have to disappear right? It could continue to be shared. I mean just think about if all the kids that were at that retreat went to their various schools tomorrow and just let that love quietly shine from them. Think of the ripples of love that would make all over the region. It seems to me that it doesn’t necessarily take a great, dramatic act of love to share love, but perhaps instead the greatest act of love is simply to be the presence of love.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 9

2011-10-23T06:47:00.001-07:00

I missed a day. I think maybe I didn’t write about yesterday because it’s a little more difficult to write about. It requires a bit more revealing of myself than I would like, but I made a pledge.

I’m a very empathetic person, and that may be an understatement. There are times when it feels as though I can feel other people’s feelings with and for them. There are times when I feel called to allow collective emotions from humanity in general to move through me, sometimes in words, sometimes in tears. I think that allowing, that movement, helps the energies to shift, even a little bit, which I’m grateful to be able to do. Sometimes though it’s very difficult, like when I did the writing about the Holocaust that I posted on this blog a couple years ago. I know it is my practice of peace that now allows me to be able to move through this process as gently as possible. That practice of peace has helped me to know there is a connection to peace within myself which is always present, always accessible. I worked with a visual of it for a long time, an anchor. The anchor was very solidly planted in peace and there is a long and very strong anchor line that connects to my heart. It was a visual reminder for me that helped me return to that place of peace again and again. It helped because it reminded me that I was never disconnected from that peace; there would be times when I couldn’t remember it, couldn’t feel it, but never a time when that anchor wasn’t there. All I had to do was remember the connection and I could begin to feel the peace flow again.

Yesterday was a day when it was difficult to remember my anchor of peace. The emotions and energy that were moving through me were a real challenge to stay disconnected from, they centered on the pain of violence we do to each other. The process is much easier when I remember not to allow the emotions to become my emotions, my energy. Sometimes though the feelings associated with the energy are so intense that it is difficult not to empathize and feel them. That is when I really need the memory of that anchor. Yesterday it took me a while to remember, to feel that peace again, to remember that there is love in the world. Yet, when I did feel it again, I was incredibly grateful for the path of peace I have been traveling, because otherwise it might have taken me much longer to remember.

I’m grateful in another way too. After all, the reason that I made this pledge was because I could feel a shift happening, a shift toward a new way of being in the world, that baby new Earth that I could feel. I suppose it’s no surprise that there might be what feels like turmoil during a transformation like that, and in the midst of that turmoil it is a wonderful thing to remember that I can always return to the memory of Peace and choose to live from there.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 8

2011-10-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

It seems my peace practices begin each morning on my walks. That shouldn’t surprise me really since my walks are a form of meditation for me. As I was walking this morning, I crossed the street and noticed a variety of allen wrenches in the road. They were spread around as if they fell off the back of truck and had scattered. Most of them were where a car would park along the side of the street but a few were in the main part of the road. My heart nudged me to pick them up, but my brain said, “Well they aren’t really in the street and they aren’t sharp, it will be fine.” So I kept walking. I got as far as the sidewalk when a car drove by. I heard the clink of metal hitting the pavement as a tire drove over one of the wrenches. “Sigh,” says my head, because now it knows I will heed my heart as I should have done in the first place. So I turned around and picked up every wrench I could find and put them in a neat pile on the curb in case anyone came back looking for them. As I picked them up I knew that some of them really could have punctured a tire if they turned up as a car drove over them.

As I walked away I thought of a story my daughters and I listened to recently, Ella Enchanted. (It’s nothing like the movie by the way.) Part of the story talks about big magic and little magic and how you have to be careful of big magic because you never know how it will change things. For instance, if you changed the weather one day it could impact crops and people could starve when you thought you were just making it sunny for your party. Today was just little magic. Either way I don’t always know how my magic or choices for peace and love will impact others. I’m ok with not knowing because the part that I do know is that every choice for peace and love creates more peace and love in some small way. My heart already knew that and that’s enough knowing for me.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 7

2011-10-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

There is a majestic tree that I sometimes pass on my morning walks. Its strength, height and beauty always catch my attention. This morning it caught my attention for another reason.

The leaves on it have just begun to turn a little yellow on the edges. As I was approaching it today, the sun was still rising, so the light was illuminating the tree from below. When I looked up it was as if every single leaf on that tree was lit up! It stopped me in my tracks it was so beautiful! So great was her beauty that I was barely cognizant of the approaching cars as I began crossing the street. I’m sure the drivers thought I was crazy walking around with my eyes to the sky but I couldn’t help it. Each leaf a shining light. It was truly glorious!

I was grinning like a fool as I walked beneath her and raised my face to absorb the glow. As I paused, bathed in her light I thought, each leaf lit, each life lit. There they stood, peacefully radiating their light into the world, and from my perspective, making my world better for their light. I continued on, peacefully radiating my light into the world. I’m sure I didn’t stop anyone in their tracks like she did, but I did let my light shine.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 6

2011-10-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today that practicing peace for a new Earth means practicing peace towards all inhabitants of Earth, not just humans; even enormous, hairy spiders!

In general I am a great friend of the creatures of Earth, especially birds. I was just having a conversation with my daughter the other day about how I can’t stand to kill bugs, despite the large quantity of fruit flies that have taken up residence in our kitchen. My daughters know this already because they have watched me capture bugs and release them back outside. For me it really is part of my practice of peace, because truly I don’t think killing anything is peaceful. I find it a real challenge in the summer in my mosquito infested yard, and if I do react and swat at one I feel badly afterward. I still have a memory from my childhood of an afternoon when I was playing outside and there was a colony of ants climbing up the trunk of a birch tree in our yard. I remember killing many of them with a stick - why I’m not quite sure other than I was a child and saw ants as pests. However, I also remember afterward thinking of it from their perspective as the great ant massacre and feeling badly about the ants who were left alive and had lost their family. I didn’t see it as a lesson in peace at the time, but I felt so badly about it that I remember it to this day.

Peace toward all the creatures of Earth has been on my mind this week because of the robin I wrote about the other day, the snake I saw flattened in the road on my walk yesterday and the many squirrels I’ve seen dead on the roads lately. They helped me remember that the truth is it’s not just our planet. We share it with many others. It is their space as much as it is ours. Some of their species evolved long before ours. Yet it seems we don’t always share the space peacefully, but rather see them as intruders in our space.

That’s the way I saw the enormous, hairy spider in my bathroom this morning. Spiders are one creature that I don’t exactly like to be in close proximity to, though I do like the lessons spiders can teach. Today I remembered my lessons of living in peace and sharing space as I ran as fast and as peacefully as I could out of the bathroom. Perhaps as I practice more, next time I will only walk quickly away, grateful for a chance to share the space of peace.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 5

2011-10-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I’m working hard on peace; only not in a way I anticipated. I am working with the understanding that inner peace is not the same thing as being peaceful towards yourself. I’m certain that one must be peaceful towards oneself in order to really have inner peace, but I just never thought about it that way before. Somehow I had separated out the spiritual journey of peace from the physical aspect of peace, of treating the vessel peacefully.

I have a tendency to push myself and take on a lot. I have gotten much better over the years at saying no to at least some things I’m asked to do, in order to honor myself and the time I need with family or the need for down time. Well, let me clarify that, I’ve gotten better at saying no to others, but not so good at saying no to myself. I’m learning that clearly today as I’m feeling quite exhausted, but hadn’t honored that feeling enough over the past week to allow for much renewal time.

Now how does that contribute to the peace in the world, you may ask? Simple I would say. If I can’t honor myself, how can I truly honor another? If I can’t be peaceful toward myself, how will I truly be peaceful toward you? For me, peace is a practice and that practice begins with me and moves out from there. Right now I am really feeling the knowing that it doesn’t only begin with practice of inner spiritual peace, but also with the practice of inner physical peace through rest, renewal time and making nourishing choices about what I put into my body in the form of food and drink. In honor of that harmony of physical and spiritual peace and so I can better offer that peace to the world tomorrow, I will post this and go rest!

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 4

2011-10-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

Love was a theme throughout the day today. This year in particular I have been reminded again and again how precious life is. Today seemed full of those reminders. I found out that a friend’s Mother passed away. Really I prefer the idea of transitioning to another form of energy, but that is irrelevant when compared with the loss and grief her family is feeling. Yet, my friend and her family were by their Mother’s side when she surrendered this life. What an amazing and yet difficult gift for them all. To be able to be there, in love and to honor her as she leaves is a wonderful thing, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel wonderful in the midst of it. We have a tendency to have an aversion to the dying and death and yet to hold someone in your heart with love and to send them off onto the next part of their journey with that love surrounding them, what could be more loving than that? So I was glad to hear that my friend had been by her Mother’s side, glad for them both.

I am letting it serve as a reminder to me to appreciate each moment with the people I love, with the warmth of the sun, with the song of the birds, with the laughter of children, with a gentle breeze, with the purr of a cat, with connection to all my human family. Even though I do make a conscious effort to be present in the moment, being human, I don’t always succeed. When my daughters come home from school am I focused on what they are saying the minute they come in and want to share? Not always, sometimes I’m working and only half listening. Do I take a moment to hear the birds when I awake in the morning, or am I too grumpy that the alarm went off so soon? Do I treasure each moment with the people I love? I will be more aware of it now, hopefully. And I don’t mean to get so lost in the appreciation that I’m still not being present, but just the awareness that the simple act of being present with another is a way of appreciating them and the gift of that moment. My heart sometimes reminds me of opportunities I’ve missed with a gentle ache that says, pay attention. I hope to lessen the potentially greater aches of having missed precious moments by heeding the smaller nudges now.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 3

2011-10-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

My practice today centered mostly on peace. The practice of peace actually began last night when my daughters and I went to Kings Dominion to their annual Halloween Haunt and continued into today as I sat with it and as we talked about it. Halloween Haunt is basically a variety of themed haunted houses, as well as fog filled areas of the park called scare zones where people jump out at you. Horror is not my thing, never has been, and I didn’t think it would be something my daughters would particularly enjoy because it’s not really their thing either. However, my younger daughter really wanted to go and find out for herself. I thought she was old enough to have that opportunity, so we went.

It didn’t go well. We waited on line for at least an hour and a half for the first ride (though it was lots of fun!). Then we walked through the scare zone called Feary Tales. The park was darker than it usually is at night and the “fog” so dense in the scary areas that you really couldn’t see much at all sometimes. And yes there were people in frightening costumes with very gory makeup or masks that would follow you or jump out at you. My youngest quickly discovered that she didn’t like it one bit. It made her extremely uncomfortable and unhappy. I was good with leaving right then if she wanted to, but she didn’t want to feel like we had wasted our time. So we went on one more ride and called it quits after that. Even having to walk out to the exit through the scare zones one more time was difficult for her.

Looking back on it I think part of her discomfort was the general atmosphere of not just the park, but also the people attending. The intention of the whole evening was fear created from violence, and that feeling was pervasive. I know it was supposed to be “all in good fun” but from the perspective of peace, it made me wonder why we would think that violence and fear are good fun. Where is the peace in that?

The only peace I found that night was within myself, and I was quite glad that I was able to find it there so that I could share it with my daughters. The crowd was not peaceful; there was a lot of swearing and yelling and one person being led away in handcuffs. The intention of fear and violence had an impact on all there. We have been to the park at night before and it was nothing like what we experienced last night. I don’t exactly regret going because I think it was a good learning for them both; to honor the kind of people they are in the activities in which they choose to participate. I just wish my youngest could have learned that more gently than what she was feeling last night, but I think she learned it quite clearly through the experience. I don’t think it was fear she was feeling as much as discomfort. I felt it too. What an interesting contrast it was for me when I’m consciously trying to live a life of peace to be in the midst of a creation from such a different place. A good learning for all three of us.

We at least could choose to leave as opposed to people who live surrounded by fear and violence that they can’t so easily escape. Along with my daughters, they are part of the reason for this pledge, so that one day none of us will have to leave anywhere to find peace; it will be within and all around us. I believe each choice we each make for peace and love brings us all closer to that world.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 2

2011-10-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Interesting day today. Lots of practice of peace. First off you should know that my family is very competitive. It's apparently genetic. So sports are not generally a peaceful experience for me (baseball season in particular is a time I find it challenging to be peaceful). I got to practice peace watching my daughter's field hockey game this morning and cheering in only a supportive and encouraging way. I have to say not all my thoughts were peaceful in relation to the refs but I did keep my words peaceful at least! I also had an opportunity to send love to a girl who was hurt during the game. As she laid crying on the field I just kept imagining her surrounded with love, knowing that could only help her.

Another chance to practice peace came while driving down I95. I wrote a poem once called Each Life. I remembered driving soon after writing that poem and looking at each car on the road and thinking, each life is precious, each life has value. It completely changed my perspective of the other drivers. I remembered that tonight as I was driving on the highway and looked at each car and remembered those two words, Each life. It didn't matter if I agreed with their driving choices, those two words changed how I was looking at each person. And what if they were to give me that gift as well, as we passed each other on the road? Seems like driving might be a much more peaceful experience then, for each life.

Pledge of Peace and Love ~ Day 1

2011-10-14T16:09:00.000-07:00

How I lived my pledge of love today had to do with a robin. On my morning walk I saw a dead robin laying in the grass in front of a house on Washington Ave. As I noticed it I thought, Awww, how sad, and continued walking. I got about six feet before I stopped and turned back. I went and stood beside the robin, bowed my head and offered my love and my gratitude for the robin, his song, his colors, his inspiring flight and his life. As I walked away I thought of all the other creatures, plants/trees and people who would transition to another form today, whose songs I would never hear. I bowed my head as I walked and offered them love and gratitude for their songs, that though I will never hear them, echo in the hearts of others.

Thank you sweet robins for the gift of your songs.

The Pledge of Peace and Love ~ October 13, 2011

2011-10-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Posting the Campaign 2012 pledge of non-violence in word, thought and deed on my FB page today inspired me to make my own pledge. Mine will be not only a pledge of non-violence, but also a pledge of love and peace. Now through the end of the year I will attempt every day to be conscious of what I put out into the world through my words, thoughts and deeds. I will make a conscious effort every day to choose from peace and love. Each day I will post something on my blog about at least one thing I did that day that contributed to a more peaceful, loving world. It may only be a small thing, but I believe what we do and think makes ripples that move out and touch others. I hope that I will have lots of peaceful, loving ripples to write about each day. However, I will also be honest about the times I fall short of a choice that was loving or peaceful, because I am human and there will be moments of forgetting. Though I am hoping that just making the pledge will keep the thought in mind and heart enough that it will get easier as I go along, to remember it each moment.

I do have a reason for making this pledge now. It may seem strange, but there is something I have been feeling all week, it feels as though a new Earth has been born. It is a pure and pristine Earth with no veils to cover it, no layers of separation, new and whole and oh, so beautiful! An opportunity to create anew for all of us. Like any fresh, new baby, this baby Earth needs nurturing, love and nourishment. So my pledge is for the new Earth so that it may be nourished by Love and Peace. You may say I’m a dreamer….

How I lived my pledge today was setting the intention of living a life of peace and love by the simple act of making this pledge. There is a great joy that has been ignited in me. I hope to share that with all. For those of you who may be wondering, “What the heck does that really mean, living a life of peace and love?” my only response is, I guess we will find out together.

Peace and Love,
Lynda

Unconditional Forgiveness

2011-09-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

I shared this quote recently; One forgives to the degree that one loves. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld. I know I shared it because somewhere in my life I needed to look at it, but I kind of wish I hadn’t! The thing that struck me was if I am attempting to live a path of unconditional love then that would mean there must be also unconditional forgiveness. When I step back I think maybe they are actually one in the same thing. Unconditional forgiveness is a form of unconditional love, not just spoken or thought in theory but put into action.

A reminder I received on my walk made it all very simple - simple to understand, not necessarily simple to live in human form. As I approached home I came upon the number two on the ground before me. I won’t go into the whole long explanation here about the significance of that number to me, but the gist of the reminder was that I am an expression of Spirit. What I’ve learned about that truth is that there is no work to it, only a being of it. And so in that being, the very need for forgiveness falls away.

All well and good I said to the Spirit within me, but what do I do with all those very human emotions that come along with whatever incidents create a perceived need for forgiveness? Am I simply to put those feelings aside as if they never existed? I knew that wasn’t what I was to learn from the idea.

The feelings exist in this very beautiful, human expression and so their existence needs to be acknowledged, not ignored. Where the learning is I believe, is in returning to that core of Spirit within me and witnessing those feelings, even flat out feeling them and yet recognizing them as feelings and not the truth of the situation. Then from that place of unconditional love within, I can gently look at the roots of those feelings.

It seems to me that when I look at the roots of any distressing emotions I’m experiencing they always lead to the same place, a fear of separation. If I can then look at those roots from that place of Spirit within me where I am in fact One with Spirit, then I know the falsity of the idea of separation and can begin to pull that idea out by its roots.

That’s not the end of it, however much my mind would like it to be. If I follow the range of emotions that grow from the roots I will see where that lack of forgiveness, lack of unconditional love, branched out reaching for others. I see them pointing to another and saying, it is you who separated me from (insert almost any word here) love, family, success, friendship, etc. If I can see with the eyes of unconditional love though, I can look at the individual I had been pointing at, with the same knowing of truth I had in looking at the roots. I can see that not only did they not separate me from any of those things, because there is no separation, but I can look at them and know that we are not separate either.

In seeing from unconditional love I create the space for unconditional forgiveness. Which in the end brings me gently full circle to the conclusion that if I am fully living from unconditional love there is actually no need for forgiveness, just a little weeding.

September 11th Reflections

2011-09-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

Below are some reflections from time spent by Mother River's side today after an Interfaith service. I offer them both in Peace and Love, and in honor of those lost 10 years ago today and for those who yet grieve.

The vulture soars over the treetops,
his shadow skimming them in an endless game of tag
the trees can never win.

That is what I saw as I sat by the river this afternoon. His flight made me take note of the sky. It was searingly blue, in a way that reminded me of another September day. I couldn’t believe the sky dared be so blue that day. It belied the mood, the collective shock and grief. Surely a sky like that could only reflect a day flowing with joy, not tears. Maybe it was the purity of the tears that intensified the blue. A purity sprung from hearts torn wide open. From all walks of life, from all races, all nations, they grieved as one, under that achingly blue sky. Perhaps it did reflect the day after all.

Today the ache is more distant, the blue less offensive to my senses. Many of the hearts torn wide have found a path of healing. And many, for the good of us all, have remained open. If there can be gratitude for the aftermath of that day, mine would be for those hearts that were courageous enough to grieve, heal and remain open. For each open heart is a doorway through which love can freely pass.
Thank you for the gift of your courage to love.

Illumine!

2011-07-26T04:47:00.000-07:00

It is with great joy that I can now share my newest collection of poetry, Illumine! The collection features the beautiful photographs of Joyce Tenneson, which inspired nine of the poems in the collection.

If you are interested in purchasing a copy either send me an email or visit the publisher's site.

Here's what people have had to say about the collection...

"On reading Illumine I feel as if I've been hypnotized, transported to in this diaphanous world that's connected to the flesh and bones world of people and things, but apart from it, too--rich and reflective, contemplative even. There's loss here, but always, always a promise of redemption."
~ Steve Watkins, 2009 Golden Kite Award for Fiction

"Lynda Allen has a way with words. A good way, a profound way, because it's the way forward. Also upward and inward, but always forward. And since you probably don't want to go backward, buy this book."
~ Greg Tamblyn, singer songwriter, humorist & speaker

Enjoy in joy!!

The Door of My Heart

2011-06-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

By choice I go through life with my heart wide open. Long ago I removed the hinges from the door of my heart and threw them and the door away. It was a strange and risky feeling at first. I argued with God about it, which I have a tendency to do at times. It seems that though I argue I usually do in the end surrender to the guidance I receive. I did in this case as well and actually went through the physical motions of it in a meditation and unscrewed each screw and threw all of it away. It was a powerful and unusual meditation and it changed my life.

I did have a question though, as I got used to the feeling. “It feels like it could just fall right out of my chest. What happens if it does?” The response I received was simple, “Good. Watch where it falls, for there love will grow in abundance.”

There wasn’t much argument I could make in the face of a statement like that. Instead I learned to not just live with it, but to enjoy the feeling of a wide open heart. A wide open heart is more in touch with the wonder of life, it can receive more freely when there is no door to knock on and conversely it can give more freely as well.

It wasn’t an easy thing to get used to though. There are times when the feeling of vulnerability was overwhelming. I had to learn to be really still with that feeling and move forward anyway knowing that I was safe, knowing that my heart was strong and trustworthy. It led to the learning that beneath and supporting my human heart was an unbreakable heart. A heart that was untouched by the things in life that made me feel vulnerable. A heart that knows the truth of who I am. A heart that is the place where the Divine resides with the human within me. I began to learn to live from that unbreakable heart.

There are lots of moments when I really wish I had something there to protect the oh so human heart though, and I certainly still forget to live from the unbreakable heart at times. There are times with that door gone, when it feels like someone or something can walk up and throw a hand grenade right in and blast the place apart. There are plenty of people I meet who don’t believe it’s genuine the way I live. I’ve learned to be still with that and let them get to know me and decide for themselves. I have even had moments of thinking about just replacing that dang door. Whenever I tried to put up a barrier in anyway though, it felt so unnatural and uncomfortable and quite frankly just not who I was anymore.

Despite the hand grenades occasionally chucked in, I wouldn’t live any other way now. And having that door gone is even helpful when the explosions come along – the fragments that get blasted loose don’t get lodged in the heart so easily. They fly free of the heart where I can see them better, where I can pick them up and honor them and release them. Not much fun at times I admit, but worth it at the end of the process (yes, I kid myself that there is an end to the process!).

The best part though is getting to share from my heart with no barriers, loving in a way I had not loved before – and that includes loving myself as well. Coming to know the heart that resides within me has been a great challenge and a great joy – a journey I would walk again in a heartbeat.

Gifts of the Leap

2011-06-03T06:14:00.000-07:00

I’m a leaper. Truly, I have been all my life, though as an adult there was a time when leaping seemed more frightening than it does now. I’m just not one to sit on the edge of the nest or the cliff and choose to only look and not leap. Have I always launched into glorious flight? Well I guess technically yes, but some times I was only in flight for a few seconds before I plummeted and other times I took glorious flight to places unknown and had grand adventures. Other times I simply learned to glide gently to the ground so as to avoid that whole plummeting thing.

This morning on my walk I received a reminder about the times when my wings didn’t open in time or when the branch snapped as I leapt. As I was walking along the canal path I heard a loud crack and subsequent splash. I turned to see branches and leaves falling from a tree beside the path and ripples spreading out across the water. I then heard splashing sounds from the water followed by a scrambling sound coming up the bank. A soaking wet squirrel scurried up the bank and back up into the offending tree. I had never seen a squirrel fall before. I have often been amazed that they don’t fall more often given the tiny branches that sway and droop under the weight of their mighty leaps. This was a first. This squirrel was lucky I suppose to have fallen in water rather than upon pavement. Was the squirrel sitting there being grateful for that water that broke his fall? Probably not. Was the squirrel angry at the branch for breaking, for not supporting him? Probably not. Did the squirrel lament his drenched fur in the cool morning air? Probably not.

From the looks of it and the way the squirrel was clinging to the tree he was unharmed and back to the business of being a squirrel. The leap and subsequent fall had not changed much from his perspective. He was not injured. He was damp, but would dry. Clearly he had the power to deal with the consequences of the fall in his ability to swim after he hit the water. I doubt he would be afraid to leap again; after all he is a squirrel. I took a moment to honor him and his fall and apparent well being afterward and wish him well.

As I continued on I thought about how many falls I have lived through physically and emotionally. I have not been as lucky as that squirrel; some did leave physical or emotional marks. Yet, looking back there has always been water of some sort, usually in the form of those I love, to break the fall. I have always been able to make it back to the bank and scramble back up afterward. I admit that I have occasionally held onto anger at the branch for breaking or more often anger toward myself for forgetting how to fly. Of course, that became part of the lesson of leaping; forgiving and eventually gratitude for the fall. I also have to say that often my perspective has indeed changed after a fall, but that is the beauty of the gift of the leap, whether I take flight or fall, always I learn.

Most of all, I’m glad to say that I have always been willing to climb back out on the limb and leap again, knowing that falling and flying are both part of the journey. Thank you friend squirrel for the reminder.

Robin's Egg Blue

2011-04-29T05:59:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a robin's egg this morning on my walk...

Robin’s Egg Blue
Lynda Allen

Upon the ground
a tiny mirror of the sky
Why so blue robin’s egg?
Does the sky find herself in you?
Or are you a reminder of potential,
of what lies beyond the fear of the first leap?
A delicate reflection of above
held gently in the arms of branches and twigs
feathers and grass.
A glimmer of the aching blue
that calls my soul to flight
each morning.

Now the flutter of wings
for me to find myself in,
Baby robin’s freedom
a reminder of my own.

Robin’s egg blue calls us home.

The Flow of Grace

2011-04-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

There but for the Grace of God go I. That is a phrase that just never made sense to me. As if God would withhold Grace from another person and yet grant it to me. That never felt right, based on what I have come to know of God.

About six years ago, I started writing about Grace – frankly because I never could understand the concept and never found a description of it that made sense to me. In the midst of that writing and meditation process, it suddenly struck me that if I turned the phrase around it miraculously made more sense to me.

There but for I, goes the Grace of God.

There but for I! In my writing about Grace it seemed to me that Grace is something we all have access to, something we can all be a channel for. What then if the only thing stopping Grace from flowing freely in the world was me? There but for I, goes the Grace of God. What if that person who is “worse off than me” would feel the touch of Grace if only I would open my heart and allow it to flow through me? What if just by looking at them and acknowledging them as a fellow person, a fellow expression of Spirit, what if by that simple act I could touch them with Grace?

That moment of recognition, of shared connection could be all it takes for Grace to flow freely between the two of us. And then what if the truth were that in that moment, Grace was also flowing to me, I was not just giving, but in the act of giving, also receiving Grace? Wow.

What then if all it takes to change the world is one moment of Grace? How would I act then? How would I look at each person I pass or interact with? What if every single moment is an opportunity for Grace? What if it’s not? So what! If it’s not true then what harm can it do to practice Grace anyway? And if it is true, what unimagined beauty could it bring? I, for one, am more than willing to find out. There, through me, goes the Grace of God.

Morning Light

2011-04-05T04:54:00.000-07:00

There is a gentleman I frequently see on my morning walks. Whenever I look up and see him down the street and know that our paths will cross, I smile to myself. I look forward to seeing him for one reason, well two really, his smile and his eyes. I think of it as one reason though, because the two go together. When he greets me with a smile, as he always does, his beautiful blue eyes light up. Yes, they light up enough that I can see the color of them as we pass in the street. I’m sure he doesn’t know that I look forward to seeing that light. I do though, because every time I see that sparkle, it reminds me of the light in myself. It’s as if each time I encounter that light in him my own light flickers in response.

I started to think about that on my morning walks. I always try to greet each person I pass on my way by looking them in the eye and smiling and saying hello. Sometimes they do the same and sometimes they do not. Once I passed a group of women walking together and one of them looked at me and said hello, one looked at the ground and said some sort of hello and the others didn’t acknowledge me at all. I didn’t take it personally, as they were having a conversation, but I did notice as I continued on that it did make a difference in some way. I realized that with just that small smile, moment of eye contact and hello the one woman was in some way acknowledging my existence. Not a validation, mind you, but simply a recognition of another being sharing the experience of this life. That moment made me sparkle more than the greetings or lack of greetings from the others. I was grateful to all of them though for the learning, because from that moment on I realized the importance of my morning walk and the greetings along the way. I knew I had the opportunity each time I saw someone (or even a bird, dog, flower or tree for that matter) to offer them a moment of recognition as an individual, a moment of sharing the journey and a reminder of their light by reflecting it back in my own smile, in my own eyes. I receive that gift so often on my walks from many people, what a joy to discover that I can give that gift in return. Perhaps I had been giving that gift all along, but now I could do it consciously.

I don’t know if that particular gentleman, or anyone I cross paths with on my walks, feels the gift they give or receive from a smile, but I will continue to gratefully give and receive them and enjoy the morning light that shines on me.

Vibrations

2011-03-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

For my global family in Japan, where my thoughts and love have been since Friday...

Vibrations
by Lynda Allen

I don’t know where to begin
I haven’t words big enough
for the little things that are forever lost.
For the eyes that will never meet
for the jokes that will go untold
for hands not held
for curls not brushed aside
for laughter never heard
for love that will remain unspoken
What words for loss so vast?
They are shallow
compared to the depths
that reached such heights.
They are weak
compared to the strength
that shattered homes and hearts.
They are empty
compared to the fullness
of their grief.
No words,
only the cries of loss
echoing around the world.

I take up the echo
sent across the sea,
allow it to fill me
until I am with them
in their sorrow.
There I find the words,
floating among the debris,
heard amid the cries.
I turn and repeat the echo,
send it back as a new wave.
I love you.

That vibration stronger
than any other,
stronger than pain,
stronger than sorrow
stronger than the ache
of feeling alone.
Strong enough to bring
pieces back together
to heal broken lives
to bring the memory of hope.
Strong enough to raise up
what was brought low.
Strong enough to be felt
through the loneliness.
The vibration of love,
the tremor felt round the world.
Let me be the epicenter.

Lessons of the Emptiness and the Fullness

2011-03-10T05:41:00.000-08:00

Like many people I’ve been watching the river this week, but I watch her often. For me she is Mother River. I can’t begin to accurately describe the serenity I find on her banks or the myriad lessons I’ve learned by simply being still at her side.

This week the lesson I learned was about emptiness and fullness. I didn’t realize that was why I had gone to see her yesterday though. I simply went because I had been feeling called to and someone at the bus stop that morning had reminded me of her. So off I went to see how high the water was and to enjoy the peace despite the little bit of chill in the air and the gray skies.

For about a week I have been going through a process of emptying out, emotionally and spiritually. It’s a process that I am working with in general this year, being empty and refilling. The empty part has been challenging. It is not easy to be still with emptiness because it feels like loss at first. Yet, I’m discovering that is not what it is at all.

The first time I went through the process last month I spent a week experiencing intense feelings of separation, from people, from my Source. It was a real challenge. I had been given a gift before that week began though, a glorious moment of oneness spent with a Great Blue Heron that served as a reminder to me that the feelings of separation I was feeling were just that, feelings, not the truth. It is a delicate difference and yet made all the difference that week as I returned to remembering my truth that I can never truly be separate from my Source. In the end, what I found in the stillness of the emptiness was an incredible sense of joy.

This month the initial feelings were similar though slightly different. It was more a feeling of being alone. I know that sounds the same as separate, but it didn’t feel that way. The gift I received to help me through it this time was an opportunity last week to share a story with my daughters from when I was 18 years old. It was a soft, quiet moment that changed my life. At the time I was feeling more alone than I ever had before (including all the drama of that feeling that goes along with being 18!). I had some pretty good reasons at the time because I had moved away from all I knew, all I had grown up with, the summer before I headed off to college, lots of major changes. I was feeling a great deal of despair one night and I looked out the window of my room and through the branches of the trees there was a star. I had seen it there before out my window but in that moment I knew it was there for me. Because the light of that one star brought me a knowing that as lonely as I might be feeling, I was not alone, I was never alone. That moment changed my life and I knew from that moment forward that I would never be alone. Having just told my daughters about that night, served as a reminder to me this week when I was in the midst of feelings of being alone and empty.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am willingly going through this process of being empty and full in a spiritual sense. It is a great learning for me this year and I am grateful for the opportunity and the gifts I am receiving to help me through it.

As I went to Mother River yesterday to sit in the stillness of the emptiness, she showed me something. The water between her banks was still quite high from the rains of previous days and I knew more rain was coming that would raise her levels even higher. What she helped me realize as I sat there watching her, was that she felt the same to me despite the rushing waters. The essence of her, her spirit, felt the same even though she was very full. I then thought about the times I have sat beside her when water was scarcer and realized she felt the same then too. The difference had been in her physical expression only; her essence remained the same whether she was empty or full. Honestly, I was stunned by the realization. It was so simple and yet for me so profound and until that moment I had not seen it. I am in constant awe of the lessons she willingly teaches if I simply listen and observe.

This morning I remembered something else about my times with Mother River when she was empty. Last summer we were able to wander to places we could not normally reach when she is full. In those places we found great treasures that we would not have found if she had not been empty. So this week I am deeply grateful to Mother River and for the treasures found in the emptiness as well as the fullness.

The Curve of a Feather

2011-01-24T06:12:00.000-08:00

As I walked I was overwhelmed with wonder in the curve of a feather. At the end of the pond was my friend the Great Blue Heron who I see there often. He sat in the morning sun and frigid air with his feathers fluffed up for warmth. I stopped to greet him. The light of the sun caught the spray of feathers that extended from his chest, the feathers lit such that I could see each one individually. I looked at his colors and beauty and design so perfect for him and my heart swelled with joy and wonder (literally I felt like the Grinch with my heart growing three sizes). How beautiful!

I thought of the feathers on other birds I have seen and all their amazing array of colors and sizes, all serving a purpose for that bird. I thought of the different kinds of trees and how each one has a different leaf and different bark, a different way to reach for the sky. I thought about the flowers! There exists in the world such an enormous variety of flowers! Each with different petals and colors, leaves and stems. And what of all the creatures, I thought, those that crawl or run or swim or slither, with scales or skin or fur? Each of these plants, birds and animals with all they need to serve life, to live and thrive and create more life in one form or another. What a wonder that there is such immense splendor and diversity!

I was overwhelmed with joy as a stood there basking in the reflected beauty of the heron. I was filled with gratitude to have that small moment of wonder and to see the threads of life all around me as they stretched out across the earth and into the vastness of the Universe and all its mystery and majesty. What an amazing gift, I thought, to be able to be here in this moment and witness the beauty of creation in the curve of a single feather.

In Gratitude to the Great Blue

Blame Ends with Me

2011-01-24T06:10:00.000-08:00

For Christina Taylor Green

We teach them to share. We teach them to be kind, their right from their left, play nicely, use good manners, it’s not polite to point, take turns. We teach them to take responsibility. We teach them the golden rule; Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Unless the others are not like you. Unless they don’t vote like you do. Unless their skin is a different color than yours. Unless they pray differently than you. Unless they live across some imaginary border from you. Unless they don’t agree with you. Unless…

We redefine right and left, until it becomes right and wrong. Pointing, pointing, pointing at who is to blame. Did you ever notice the word blame ends with me?

I am to blame. For every choice I made that did not honor what I teach my children. For every choice not made from love. For every time I didn’t share or play nicely with others. For every time I judged based on color or creed or doctrine. For every time I was impolite. For every time I didn’t wait my turn. For every time I dodged my responsibility for my choices. For every time I was unkind. For every time I forgot that left and right were just directions, not divisions.

For each and every time, my child, I apologize. I should have known better. I should have behaved better. From the deepest place in my heart, from the deepest part of my connection to all humanity, I am sorry that I didn’t behave more like you. I’m sorry I didn’t choose from the heart of the child, so that you could live today, now, in a world of peace. I will choose more wisely from this day forth. I will make choices that I know will one day lead to a world you will be proud to call home. You have my word - if you will still take the word of an adult.

January 9, 2011

The Passing of a Redbud Tree

2010-08-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

I wrote a post last year (April 2009) about the redbud tree in my front yard. Here is part of that post:
There is nothing that tree can do to stop me from loving it. Looking at it simply makes me feel the love in my heart, the love that I am. What an amazing gift that tree gives to me. It provides me with a reminder of the love that I am, an opportunity to feel the love that I am…. Maybe that’s what love is, simply something or someone that reminds you of or reawakens in you the love that you are.

That redbud tree is no longer in my front yard. The disease I wrote about in the post eventually killed that beautiful tree. And so my friend the redbud continued to teach me about love, even in death.

I let her sit in my front yard without a single leaf on her for a whole spring and summer when others could clearly see that she was dead, because I was hoping she would still somehow come back to life. She had been so full of life, so it must be possible I reasoned. Yet, the truth was that her time as a redbud tree had ended and my holding on to her could not bring that beautiful life back to her branches. I had to let her go with grace. My holding her here because of my sadness and reluctance to let her go did not honor the beautiful life that she was.

It was time for her to transform from one form of life to another. I realized at some point that I could let her do it while I resisted or I could let her transform with love. That’s when I remembered the lesson of unconditional love that she taught me one morning as I sat on my porch looking at her. The question became, could I love her unconditionally even in death?

I decided I could. It did not mean that I didn’t still have some reluctance because I did, and it didn’t mean I didn’t have any sadness because I did. However, I didn’t want to tether her here out of fear of loss, but wanted instead to release her with love. It was a slow lesson to learn for me because I had loved that tree since she was a sapling. I did learn, however slowly, that I was not loving her by holding on to her when she was clearly already gone. The loving thing was to acknowledge the end of the life of my beloved redbud and find a way to rejoice in the new life that would somehow come from her death.

In the woods she might have had the opportunity to fall and decay and become a part of the forest floor that would eventually help feed another tree. I knew she wouldn’t have that opportunity in my front yard. I couldn’t really bring myself to cut her down though. Instead someone that loves me had an opportunity to practice unconditional love as well and be part of this process with me. I know she was taken down with a sense of honor and gratitude. So many opportunities she provided to practice her teachings.

She lay in pieces in my yard for a week. My daughters and I mourned her passing. I still feel sadness that I will not see her colors again or feel the coolness of the shade she provides or watch the buds form on her branches in the spring. I miss what she was. Yet, I had to find a way to celebrate her life and what she could become beyond being a redbud tree.

Rather than have her decay at the dump with other yard debris, she had an opportunity to transform in a more dramatic fashion. She became fuel for a bonfire that was part of a night of music and celebration and community. I think she would have liked that. I sat with her as the fire was lit and watched as she transformed before my eyes into flame, smoke, ember and finally ashes. It was sad and joyful at once. I knew through what she had taught me about unconditional love, that I could love her equally no matter what form she took and I knew she could remind me of the love that I am no matter what form she took.

She just never taught me about the sadness I would feel. And yet she did. Through her transformation she showed me that the love I felt for her could radiate through the feelings of loss and remind me of the joy she found in her new form. If I loved her unconditionally how could I not celebrate her transformation with her? I’m quite sure she enjoyed providing light for smiling faces, heat for roasting marshmallows, and warmth for an evening holding the promise of autumn in the air.

And now? Now I carry the memory of her beauty, her lessons and her love with me everyday, as well as the joy of knowing that indeed her life, in whatever form, continues to bear fruit.

Food of Love

2010-06-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

In my writing process I most often feel as if words are simply moving through me. There are some ways in particular that I know for certain are purely words moving through me and this came from one of those writings the other day. I found it to be very interesting and so I thought I would share it. Enjoy in Love!

With an infant a human need is simply a human need. They cry for food or nourishment. They are acknowledged to need love for true, pure growth and stimulation without shame or fear. Love is part of their nourishment and no one belittles them for it. No one holds that need for love against them. As an infant it is part of the basic needs of the human. Then things shift and the need for the nourishment of love becomes conditional and limited as if you outgrown the need for love. That is not true. Love is the source of all nourishment. Love is the core of that bright light. Sit within it and be fed by Love. Feed yourself without shame or self recrimination. Allow that love to fill you and feed you. Its supply is limitless and endless. Fear not in your human form, fear not and love more. Fear none, love all.

Tuning

2010-06-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

I live in gratitude for my morning walks....

There is a natural rhythm to the Earth. With each step I feel it under my feet. With each breath I smell it in the air. With each moment I hear it all around me. With each blink of my eye I see it in color and light. Every morning I am an instrument waiting to be tuned. If I allow it, the birds will sing with me until I hit a harmonizing note. If I allow it, the summer green of the leaves, the deep burgundy of the lilies or the pure cobalt of the blue jay will perfect my vision with their rainbow. If I allow it, the gentle breeze and whispering of the leaves will tighten or loosen a string as needed. If I allow it, my heart will align with the steady heartbeat that arises from the core of the Earth. If I allow it, with each step and each breath I will hear my own contribution to the symphony. I bow my head and continue on in tune.

Detours

2009-11-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

As anyone who lives in or around Fredericksburg, VA knows, there is a lot of road work happening right now. It seems everywhere you go there is a sign saying, left lane closed, or detour, or fines are higher in construction zones! It’s not just on one road either, but seems to be on every route you try. Like everyone else I have found myself becoming frustrated with the delays. Until a recent morning that is. One morning I was walking and saw a new detour sign on Washington Ave. and watched the cars being guided to the new route. That is when the words came to me loud and clear, have patience with the path as you drive it, have patience with the path as you walk it.

Have patience with the path. I smiled to myself as I walked. It was much easier to find that patience when I was taking my morning walk as opposed to when I’m running late getting my daughters to field hockey or gymnastics. I recognized it as an important moment though.

My own journey took an unexpected turn recently, one that I saw no warning signs for. I wish I had seen the detour coming like I do around town, but it came nonetheless. Paths will do that. While I know it is something I will move through, I also needed the reminder to have patience as I walk it. I can’t always see the twists and turns the path will take in advance and truly I know that is not really the goal. The goal is to walk it with grace, with patience, with love, with peace, no matter how many detours there are or how many lanes end. I needed that reminder.

I honestly think that if I could look down at the way from above, I would learn that really there were no road blocks. It was always straight. Optical illusions were created by my limited vision, or the shimmering waves from the heat of the moment. If I had walked with more patience for the path I might have noticed that with each step. The construction on the roads has given me an opportunity to catch my breath and look again. Maybe it isn’t a curve that I have come upon in my life. Maybe it is simply one more step on the path and all I need to see right now is that one step, because that is where the learning is. From my perspective that’s what the things that seem like detours are about, learning and growth. Each seeming obstacle is an opportunity to grow in my human life and in my spiritual life, and the lessons though they may feel challenging or even devastating, are worth learning, worth the patience, worth the effort. The merging I am focused on in my life is the human and Spirit and for that I must have patience with the path as I walk it.

Maria

2009-08-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

This is officially a disclaimer. This story may be difficult for some to read. It was difficult for me to write. It began with a simple photograph in a book of train tracks heading toward a building, and suddenly I was on a train on those tracks. It was a story I could only write part of because it was so vivid for me and then had to stop and return to it later. There is actually a shift in the tone of the story between the first writing and the second when I was able to come back to it from a new perspective. I thought it was important to leave it as it was, as I experienced the writing of it.

Before the story though came a poem that I have put on my website. It was a reminder of joy, a reminder that I very much needed after writing the story. I am posting the story now because I saw a documentary at the Rappahannock Independent Film Festival this week about a Polish woman who save the lives of 15 Jewish people during WWII by letting them live for 20 months in a hayloft and in a hole dug under her kitchen floor. After watching the film it just seemed like the right time to share this story.

Maria

I can feel the rumble of the train in my body and I can smell that scent that I can’t identify on the air, an acrid smoke that stops my breath with fear and I don’t know why. Hundreds of other eyes crammed close together trying to see and yet knowing that they don’t want to see what approaches. So they try to look behind us to get a last glimpse of a world they can understand, a last breath of air that is clean. But it’s too late, there is nothing clean anymore. All is grey and lost and full of hate. You cannot feel any humans around the train at the station because the souls that would give them true life have left what would have been their bodies far behind in the horror on the ground. If the weight in their hearts can be described, I haven’t the words for it. All that is describable is the screeching of the wheels, iron upon iron, the hissing release of the steam and smoke; and even that sinks slowly to the ground rather than drifting toward a heaven that can’t be felt in this place.

On the train their hope sank too, in each heart but one, for there is always one, one who would dream and see beyond, to where the smoke can’t venture. If not for that one, things might have been different now, they might even be different in some alternate version of what happened here, who knows. Maybe in another universe they broke her spirit, but in this one, thank God, she held fast, body and Spirit joined and whole. Because of her I exist to hold the memory of that place. While that is not a role I would have chosen; to be the keeper of the memory of horror, still someone must live on to speak the truth of it or none would believe it could be true and it could happen again. Even so, it has happened again. Have I failed in my mission since now there must be another and another who hold the horror of another place? I could not have let her down, I could not. I speak the story again and again of this place called Auschwitz. Sometimes I speak it at night to her when she visits me in my dreams. I try to convince her that it was not in vain, but it is me that I’m trying to convince, for the horror lives on. Does the story being told bring it back to life? Or does it help in some small way to prevent a repetition? Her eyes give me no answer but they do dance with joy. She has found peace. Perhaps I should have found mine there too, often I wish I had. But if by my story one less person feels the rumble of a train they can’t stop, then my peace must be found in that for now. One day I will share her joy and tell my story no more, for it will no longer be needed. Clean again all.

She had no tears that day. Her eyes were open and dry though tears flowed all around her. She knew the purpose of this place, within her being she knew. Yet she met their eyes, those who would actually look. Most didn’t look on purpose because few ever looked back, so they hadn’t expected to meet her eyes. It was they who had to look away when their eyes met. They could not withstand the light they found there, the angle of how she held her head. It was not anger or defiance or fear in her demeanor, it was freedom. Freedom despite the crush of humans, despite the scent of fear and death, despite the hard barrels of guns and harsh voices. She was free and they could see that.

They could not understand it though for they were not free themselves. In their way they were as trapped as those they imprisoned. They would not be released soon by death but would be imprisoned in the cells of their memories of what they had done for the rest of their lives. She knew that, she saw that in them. She saw the shells they had become, souls gone in sorrow. And she forgave them. In her freedom came the gift of forgiveness, even before the crime had been committed she forgave them. She forgave them for every life they had extinguished. And so they feared her. She who brought light and forgiveness was the one they feared the most. It was the path they didn’t know how to walk for themselves and there she was showing it to them, showing them compassion.

There was only one that day who could meet her eyes even briefly. His name was Josef. He saw her moving forward, the only one with her eyes looking ahead instead of down. She held his glance and he saw his fate in that instant, he knew he would choose it. He didn’t know how he would find the courage but he knew that it would be there when he needed it. Many days after that day he tried to deny it, he tried to tell himself he imagined it but each time he saw her he knew it afresh.

Normally there would not have been many days between her arrival and her death, but that was how much they feared her. They found reasons to let her live while those around her were called forward and never returned. Never did her eyes waver. So they tried unsuccessfully to break her.

It was not that she had left her body in this place and yet she was somehow distant. She had her feet on the ground and could feel the pain of the Earth in this place. She could feel the collective fear and hatred and ache. But she could feel more strongly the truth within her. The truth of the hearts of all who passed through this place and who were becoming this place. She did not carry their pain for them but somehow allowed it to leave them through her a little. Somehow she helped lighten the collective pain simply by being and knowing her truth.

She loved them all in a way that did not seem possible. Those going to their deaths gladly received her love and carried it with them on their journey. Those who lead them to their deaths couldn’t look at her love let alone receive it. All those except Josef that is. He received her love and she gave it freely each time she saw him. I don’t know if she too knew what he would do when her turn came. Maybe she did but didn’t know the courage would be there like he did. It did not distract her even if she did know. She went about her daily assignments and tasks as if it were a normal day, not the day she might die at the hands of those who hated her without reason. She did not do her work cheerfully but with dignity and grace. That was what her name might have been if one could have chosen it for her at that point, Grace, but it was Maria. She carried her light with her to each task and that was all she did.

Finally they could stand the light no more. They couldn’t look at it or extinguish it and it drove them mad. So one stepped forward to make the choice. It was Josef. He led her that day to the gas chamber and as with all things she walked forward with eyes ahead and light and forgiveness in them. He waited beside her as she, with the others, took off her clothes, the last remnants of their protection and dignity. She turned to look at him and he looked back, full in her eyes.

He did not take his eyes off hers as he bent to lay down his gun at her feet. He did not take his eyes off hers as he removed his own clothes. He did not take his eyes off hers as he took her hand and walked with her into that chamber.

Not one other guard moved. They stood in shock as he walked away. No one thought to pick up his gun and use it, so resigned were they to their fate. They were grateful to be near her at this moment of their deaths. As was he. Together they stood hand in hand as the door closed behind them, a finality to the sound of the lock moving into place.

There were no tears in the group that day, no pleas for mercy, no terror. They were all lost in the two that were at the center of the room. All lifted up by the connection found there, the truth revealed in hearts met that knew they were one, no matter their assigned roles or places of birth.

With Grace they died that day and for a moment or an eternity brought Grace to a place that never thought to see it again. Still it lingers in the sound of the wind in the trees around that place of sorrow, lightening it in some way, allowing it to move and be Free - As she was Free.

Desert Wedding

2009-06-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

Desert Wedding
by Lynda Allen

It looked like braiding. She was completely rapt in what she was doing. I watched her, equally rapt. Eventually I realized that her eyes were closed, that she couldn’t see the colors or the pattern, only feel them. And in that thought I knew it was true, knew she could feel the colors she chose, knew the pattern she wove, the strands of herself so familiar to her.

Her fingers moved rapidly without pause as if she had been waiting for this moment and so wanted to lose no time in capturing it. And so she had been waiting, waiting so long for this time of creation, of union. On the high desert, under the stars she deftly wove all the colors of herself into one beautiful design. It was a design she couldn’t see until that particular moment under those particular stars and under those particularly watchful eyes.

For there were many other eyes there watching her weave that night. Many eyes that opened to watch the joining of all that she was, to watch the wedding of all that she is. The light of the stars reflected gently off her skin, the night air caressing and guiding her. The animals of the night had gathered too, in celebration. Caught up in her work she didn’t notice all her observers. Possibly she felt their presence on some level, but the weaving that had begun could not be interrupted.

There was a collective holding of breath. She paused only once, whether at a sound or a knowing that someone neared, no one knows. Then her hands took up again her work. Then her heart took up again her work. Then her soul took up again her work. All the parts joined, she closed her eyes again and the faintest of sighs escaped her lips. It was the sound of bliss, it was the sound of culmination, it was the sound of her heart complete.

She stretched out her fingers, cramped from the weaving and rubbed her eyes clean of the desert’s dust. Then she threw her head back and sang. Where that sound came from or from how long ago, I don’t think even she knew, but the desert sang with her all through the night.

At dawn she raised her face to the new day, feeling its life giving power, absorbing it, allowing its energy to fill her. Then she threw her head back and laughed and the desert laughed with her. This time she knew where the sound came from. It came from joy, joy of the soul.

Her soul laughed as the sun rose. She had become, and the desert celebrated with her.

Defying definitions

2009-05-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

Well Ruth, I've finally decided to share the whole poem. It grew out of a lot of things but it all started with that conversation with the Redbud tree. Little did I expect that the most difficult challenge the tree would set for me was to be able to offer that unconditional love, not just to others, but to myself, with all my glorious humanness! That was an interesting learning that is ongoing.

One of the most surprising things that came out of that writing with the tree was that definition of love as simply a connection with someone or something that helps you to connect more completely with the love that you are. That rang so true for me because for a long time I have felt like the word love just wasn't defined correctly, that there was something more to it. I still do feel that way, but the definition that the redbud tree shared is the one that makes the most sense to me. As life would have it though, not long afterward I wrote the following poem as I was looking at the idea of love again and realized how limiting it is to even try to define it in human terms. It was so freeing to write the poem and celebrate not needing to define love or myself! Here's to Freedom!

Shedding Love
Lynda Allen

I define myself, for myself, by myself.
Then defy the definitions.

No desire to be boxed in
To what has been defined before
Creating new what is old
Love rigid and formed
Uninhabitable
I would inhabit love
Live fully within it
Until it is my very skin
Nothing touched without being touched by love
Then it is shed
And reforms
Gloriously new again
A second skin
Ever renewing, ever falling away
No solidity in love
Only the ever changing joy of wearing it
The light of the moment shifts the color
Of love
Until the next moment
Shadow cast, molting begins
Squirming and writhing
Finally allowing
One skin, one color never enough
To express Love
I begin anew

The Edge of the World

2009-04-27T04:56:00.001-07:00

I told a friend yesterday that I enjoy going to the edge of the abyss and looking out, not knowing what’s next. I said that’s how I learned to fly. It’s true. Leaping from that abyss is the way I learned that I could fly. It’s not that there isn’t fear in standing and leaning over the edge, there’s fear enough to go around, but the beauty of what I’ve learned in leaping outweighs the fear. The joy of learning to fly surpasses the terror of falling. The knowing now that I can indeed soar rather than plummet guides me back to that edge over and over.

That is the place of learning, of expression, of living, of being, the edge of what I know and what remains to be seen. When I do leap and see from that new height the picture changes drastically. Sometimes the view from the edge is distorted by the limits of my earth bound vision. What looked like one thing quickly becomes another from the bird’s eye view, seen clearly with eagle eyes. I wouldn’t have known that, had I never leapt.

Fear may still delay my take off from time to time, but I won’t use fear to rob myself of the freedom of flight again.

There’s a song that reminds me of the thrill of that leap. It’s called Mr. Columbus by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Check it out sometime and have fun flying!

In Memory

2009-04-14T04:06:00.000-07:00

I wrote the following poem a couple days after the shootings at Virginia Tech, two years ago this week. I post it here in honor of all who died that day.

Thirty-two Stories
by Lynda Allen

One heart on the surface grown cold.
Thirty-two stories being told.

One heart alone and lost.
Thirty-two stories the cost.

One heart buried beneath rage.
Thirty-two stories fill the page.

One heart who we could not reach.
Thirty-two stories left behind to teach.

One heart alone among us all.
Thirty-two stories a mourning call.

One heart with anger as its cell.
Thirty-two stories of those who fell.

One heart that would not heal
Thirty-two stories read as we kneel.

One heart in the soul’s darkest night.
Thirty-two stories shared and hearts unite.

One heart to learn to forgive.
Thirty-two stories to remind us how to live.

One love unites all souls.
Thirty-three times the bell tolls.

In memory of all who died at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007

Original Self

2009-04-14T04:01:00.001-07:00

In honor of the season I am posting a writing I did a couple years ago about the Original Self. I didn't get it up here last week because as it turned out I was really working at understanding this writing in my own life last week, reconnecting with my original self.

I was raised Catholic. These days I find many teachers in many different traditions. I have to say that one thing that never made sense to me in the Christian tradition was the idea of original sin. So one day I was sitting at the river and this writing came to me about the Original Self. It made much more sense to me!

Jesus did not die for original sin, Jesus died for original self. He did not die to cleanse us of some imagined sin that we are born into, but died for the original self that we are born into and quickly forget. He died for a remembering. He died to show us what the original self looks like. It is risen, and glorious and eternal. It is faith and light and truth. We are not born into darkness but into light. Not into sin but into self. Our divine God self. That was Jesus’ greatest lesson. He taught of our original God self, our inherent connection to the divine. We are made of the same thing that God is made of, we are divine, we are divinity, just as Jesus was. He hung there on the cross in demonstration of self not in cleansing of sin. Hate and fear could have no power over him in his original form; they could not touch his divine heart. He revealed to us the divine heart. One that is of light and love, one that guides to truth and is eternal. There is no other lesson. The divine lies within each heart. That divinity is who you are, your true original self. That is who you were born to be. That is who can emerge from the human self if you allow it. Then the Divine Heart brings the human heart with it on the journey. They work in unison for joy. Joy is the celebration of the Divine and the Divine within. Let the Divine Heart lead you as it led Jesus, with joy always in his eye and the eternal Divine always in his heart. Live your original self.

The Redbud Tree

2009-04-06T04:58:00.000-07:00

I love the Redbud tree in my front yard. As I sat looking at it this morning I wondered if I can love everyone as I love that tree. I don’t put conditions on my love for the tree. It doesn’t have to flower for me to love it; I love it equally in the winter when it’s bare and in the spring when it flowers. There are parts of it that don’t flower anymore at all; it got some sort of disease that killed off part of it. I don’t hate those parts that don’t produce leaves; I don’t love it less for its flaws. I did prune it some so the disease wouldn’t spread and to help it grow.

I love that tree and all it provides. It provides shade and some privacy for my porch in the summer. It provides the beauty of its fuchsia flowers in the spring. It provides a reminder of change in the autumn as the leaves transform and fall. And in winter it reminds me of the stillness.

It provides a place for my children to play, building fairy houses in its limbs or hanging their pots of flower soup from its branches. It provides challenges for me every time I cut the grass and have to duck under it along the way. It reminds me of time and the potential for growth. We planted that tree when it was just a sapling and now it is a glorious, full grown tree.

Yet, if the Redbud stopped doing any or all of these things, would I love it less? No. There is nothing that tree can do to stop me from loving it. Looking at it simply makes me feel the love in my heart, the love that I am. What an amazing gift that tree gives to me. It provides me with a reminder of the love that I am, an opportunity to feel the love that I am.

My goal today then, is to love everyone and everything the way I love that tree. When I look at someone or something today I will remember the love that I am. Maybe that’s what love is, something that reminds you of or reawakens in you the love that you are.

Falling Off the Peace Boat....

2009-03-27T19:26:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Ruth and Emily for inspiring me to blog more frequently!!!

I fell off the Peace Boat (similar to the Peace Train!) this week. Really it’s probably more accurate to say that I feel like I was getting dragged behind the Peace Boat for the past two weeks! There were moments I thought I might drown. I would lift my face up out of the water and try to swim to catch up and pull myself back on board but it was as if there was a barrier I couldn’t see, keeping me from climbing back on.

I find it very uncomfortable when I can’t connect with that Peace within myself. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while now, really anchoring in that connection and getting to know what it feels like so I could find it again in times of darkness.

I’m not sure what it was about this particular darkness that made it so difficult. It feels like lots of people were (and still are) moving through some darkness over the past couple weeks. Personally, I’ve had the opportunity (I try to see it as an opportunity) to look at a lot of old patterns and ways of thinking that I don’t really need anymore. In other words, I’ve been looking at a lot of my own junk. Not necessarily a fun process but the outcome of clarity and healing was worth the journey, as it always is.

I’m not exactly kicking back on the deck of the boat yet, but at least I’m back on board and making my way toward the sunlight. It feels awfully good to be back to where I can feel that anchor of Peace within myself. It’s this sense of knowing that no matter how rough the waters get, that anchor is there and I may get tossed about but I will not drift.

Looking around me now I can see that really I didn’t drift this time either. Did I get tossed about? Hell yeah! Lost at sea? Hell no, though there were times I couldn’t see the stars for guidance. Still, the anchor held firmly, even if it was too murky for me to get my bearings for a while. The thing is, working with has Peace paid off, because even though I couldn’t always feel it, most of the time I knew I would return to it. Most of the time.

Vision of Peace

2009-03-25T12:32:00.001-07:00

I volunteered at The Peace Alliance Conference in DC this past weekend which was inspirational. Everyone should check out http://www.challengeday.org/ and the incredible work they are doing!

As part of the conference I was able to attend a breakout session about writing with writer and editor Bob Koehler. He used the term sacred voices which struck a chord with me. I feel that is where I write from and had not found those words for it before. I was grateful to find them! We did a writing exercise about Peace. This is the unedited version of what I wrote that day, I call it Vision of Peace...

A culture of peace. What does that look like? Feel like? Smell like? What would it be through my eyes? I know it would be different than through your eyes. I know there are people who cannot yet even imagine a culture of peace, children who would settle for a piece of bread or a peaceful night of sleep. How can I dream a world of peace for them? How can I see first through their eyes and allow them to see through mine?

We can’t share a vision if we don’t remember we are connected. My vision impacts their vision and theirs’ mine. We live far apart and yet there is no distance between us, nothing that can separate us. I hear their stories and feel their pain and want to hold them and listen. But I know I can’t linger there or I will not dream my dream of Peace. Their pain and stories though are part of my dream of Peace.

I dream for them, I hold the vision for them. I hold it as high as I can reach, and then I climb higher still so that vision will reach the light. For if we are connected, then if one can see it, all can see it.

I close my eyes and reach out my hands and my heart and dream the dream of Peace, knowing that it is not just a dream, knowing that I can make it a reality every day by first finding my sacred voice and singing my song of Peace. That voice comes from deep within, that voice speaks truth, that voice knows all the stories and from them creates a new story. I will share it with you and you can share yours with me and soon we will weave them together into a Universal story, a Universal song. Each sacred voice heard equally, each sacred voice filled with love, each sacred voice joined in harmony. Not just visioning Peace, Living Peace.

Feeling Freedom

2009-03-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

Ooops, my Freedom is showing! I can feel it in my step and in the sway of my hips as I walk. I see it in the upturned corners of my lips. It shines from me and I see others notice it. They react to it with surprise.

Usually people don’t expose their Freedom in public. It’s something they take out in private to look at and hold, treasuring it secretly and then putting it away again. My Freedom is much louder than that! No bonds will hold it as it soars!

I don’t mind if you look. I don’t mind if it shows as I walk down the street. It’s not an exhibitionist, but it does share itself freely. How else could Freedom share?

The Rules of Creation

2008-11-18T06:48:00.000-08:00

I have felt prompted over the past couple weeks to read back through many of my writings. What a journey that has been!! So much growth and learning. I'm glad I wrote it all down!! One of the things I came across today is The Rules of Creation. They are now on my website www.conversationswithmysoul.com as well as here. Happy Creating!

The Rules of Creation

1. You are a Creator. This is the most important rule; all the others are insignificant if you don’t know this rule. You create your life. You create your world. You came here as a creator and you have been creating your life since the day you were born.

2. You are Love. At the center of your being, of your soul, exists only the energy of Love. There is no fear, no doubt, no hatred, no self loathing, no separation, no prejudice, and no judgment at the center of your being. Those are all layers that you have created in your lifetime and put on over your soul. When Love is forced to travel through these layers it becomes distorted. Your soul is always struggling to throw off those layers and express its true self; Love. Let it.

3. God is you and you are God. Don’t scoff, that is simply one of the layers from rule #2 speaking. Listen to the core of Love for that is where you and God are One. God resides within you and with you co-creates your life. God does not judge your creations, you have free will. God simply helps you create what you focus your energy upon. Do not feel guilty or discouraged by what you have created so far. If you do not like the life that you have created then recreate it. If you do like what you have created then share that creation and the process of that creation with others.

4. Now is the beginning. Each moment is a new opportunity for “In the beginning there was…” You create something new each moment. Do not dwell on what you created before or what was created millennia ago. Write your own holy book, your own story. You start with a fresh, blank page each moment. This is the beginning, create.

5. The goal is Joy. The goal of life is to live in Joy. Everything you create in each moment should bring you Joy, should lead to Joy, should share Joy with others. You are here to create Joy. Your heart calls out to you each day to live in Joy. Are you listening? Pay attention. Your heart knows the way to Joy. Follow it. Your soul’s purpose on this Earth is to create and live in Joy. You each have different gifts for achieving this goal but the goal is the same for each soul; Joy.

6. Your heart is your compass; your mind is a tool. Your heart knows all these rules. Your head doesn’t believe them. Even now your head is questioning what you are reading. You need only remember that your mind is a tool, a gift for your to use, it need not control your actions. It should not control your actions. The mind is directly linked to the ego, to the personality of this human existence. The heart is directly linked to the soul. That is why intuition comes from the heart and doubt comes from the mind. Let your heart guide you home and you will live in Joy.

7. Trust the unseen force that guides the compass. To be able to follow the guidance of your heart compass you must trust. You must trust the force that guides the compass’ point. You do not doubt north when your compass shows it to you, do not doubt Truth when your heart shows it to you. The unseen force that guides the Universe and each heart in it is God, Great Spirit, Allah, it has many names but is One and it leads only to Truth. Truth can be distorted by human minds and words and wills which is why you were given a compass to guide you. You need only trust it and the force that guides it. To truly create Joy you must be able to trust the guidance you are given each moment.

8. Imagination is the fuel of creation. To create a thing or a feeling or a world you must first be able to imagine it. This is where your heart and your mind finally unite and work as one. When they do, true miracles are possible. Imaginings born of the heart and expanded and seen in the mind are the true work of creation. Uniting all the forces of creation through Love and Joy and trust and focusing them with the heart and amplifying them with the mind is your work. Imagine with the Joy of a child all the glorious things the Universe can hold and be. Imagine with all the Love that is at the core of your being. Imagine with all the power of creation behind you and create a world of beauty and Peace and Joy and Freedom.

Each moment is a new beginning. It is yours to imagine. What will you create?

The Path of Least Resistance

2008-08-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

Taking the path of least resistance, in human terms, is often looked down upon as lazy. My question is why not take the easy way? Why would we choose to take the path of most resistance? And yet we do. We do it all the time. We choose a way that is the most difficult or at least more difficult than it needs to be. Why? To prove what?

This is the actual definition from Dictionary.com, the path of least resistance: “the easiest way; "In marrying him she simply took the path of least resistance.” This is how we view the path of least resistance, settling for something, taking the easy way out.

Yet, it’s natural to take the path of least resistance. In scientific terms it is the path that is the least resistance to the forward motion of an object or entity - the least resistant to forward motion. If we want to move forward with ease we simply need to move naturally along the path of least resistance. It is already there waiting in the natural progression of motion, a path along which we can move with ease. A path paved with Grace.

I don’t mean to say that this path will magically have no challenges along the way. I learn many lessons through the challenges in my life. Yet if I choose to walk the path laid out before me by Spirit that leads to my highest expression then those challenges are more easily met and more quickly moved through. Yes, I do believe that Spirit has a path laid out for us to live our highest expression here on Earth, a path of least resistance.

Repeatedly on this journey over the past few years I have used the power of my words to call in my learning gently. Before a few years ago I didn’t even know I had that option. I thought, as I had been conditioned to think, that life lessons had to be painful and difficult to truly learn. I was wrong. I could learn the same lessons in a much more gentle way. I could resist less and learn more quickly. I found that if I am gritting my teeth and preparing for the pain then I am actually resisting it and so how can I possibly see more clearly or learn the lesson gracefully.

It was the same principle with the delivery of my first child. I had no idea what to expect or how to cope with the pain or the challenge, after all I had never given birth before. But I took the classes! So surely I now knew what to do during the process to deal with it easily. So when the pain began I gritted my teeth and tried really hard to resist fighting the pain. I laugh at myself now when I look at those words – tried really hard to resist fighting the pain. At the time I thought I was working with the process when in reality I was not. Eventually I got an epidural (I loved that anesthesiologist when he arrived more than anyone in the world!) and almost immediately went to sleep. They woke me up a couple hours later to tell me that it was time to have the baby. I was fully dilated and it was time to push. I told them I wanted to go back to sleep! They were insistent however, and 45 minutes later my daughter was born. I had spent all day in labor without any forward motion towards birth and when I went to sleep and stopped resisting, the process was completed with ease.

Trust me; I’m not advocating medication as a way to deliver a baby easily or as a way to move through life easily! The problem I faced in that delivery was my own resistance to the pain and so in that resistance I simply prolonged and intensified the pain. Once I took the path of least resistance (there was still pushing after all!) I moved through the process more easily and more quickly.

The medication I’m talking about along the path of life is really trust, trusting that there is a path laid out before you and it is paved with Grace. There is a path of least resistance that we can take, that in truth is a gift to us, which leads to our soul’s highest expression. It is not lazy, it is not an escape, it is a gift. With joy I accept the gift of the path of least resistance and move forward with ease and gentleness and Grace.

Human Being?

2008-08-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

I am a human being. Or am I? In truth that is what I am working toward becoming, a human who is being. Some days I am completely there in that moment simply being. Other days I am more focused on the human part. At least though, I have discovered the idea. That’s a start. Or is it?

I find that if I am thinking about being, then clearly I am not in that being. It’s a challenge in this human world to go through your day and just be who you are. Not be who others think you are or who you might want to be one day or who you think you ought to be today, but just to be the truth of spirit that you are.

When you get right down to it maybe the term really ought to be, Being Human. I am Spirit, being human. I am an expression of that Divine light in human form. The catch seems to be that the human form is a powerful form of expression that comes with many experiences of emotion. Those emotions then have a tendency to make us forgetful of who we are, and to borrow a brilliant description, we get lost in form.

We believe along the way that we are humans being. We believe that this is the goal of existence, this human life, and over the millennia we have developed a vision of what a successful human life should be. Truly though, this vision only seems to cloud our spiritual vision, our memory of ourselves. We travel through this human life and if we are lucky get flashes of remembering the Spirit that gives life to this human form. We see it in a child’s eyes, a child whose memory is not yet clouded. We see it in the natural world all around us. We feel it in a deep connection to someone on the other side of this glorious globe who is suffering.

We get glimpses and then we bat our eyes and rub the memory out of them. It can leave us momentarily in a daze, as though we just woke from a dream and can’t quite remember it but know it was a beautiful dream. It is not a dream though. We can live those glimpses, into our human reality. We can allow those moments of clarity to expand.

Try it. When you have a moment of feeling that closeness to Spirit, that feeling of connection to all, just be still and allow it to grow. Be that connection, that oneness for as long as you can. And I don’t mean be still, as in sit in the lotus position and be still, because in our human form that is not always possible. I mean, be still within yourself with that feeling of connection, of truth, no matter what you are doing. Allow it to take over your whole body whether you are walking, working, sleeping, exercising, or meditating, whatever you happen to be doing, simply do it from that place of connection and watch what happens.

It’s as if the edges you thought everything had disappear. Everything smoothes out and flows easily. Watch it and see. Feel it. I have found that as I learned to allow those moments to expand on their own simply by being in them, that the duration of feeling that connection expanded too.
That’s how my evolution began. The remembering comes more easily now too. I can move from being caught up in a human moment of whirling emotions to remembering that I am a Spirit Being much more easily. In that shift the situation shifts too, my whole life began to shift. I began to know that in staying in that state of being I was allowing my highest expression in this human form to be as well. That was when I went from Human Being to Spirit Being.